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Darren Dutton

@darrendutton.bsky.social

Former fertilised egg now semi-functional living organism

893 Followers  |  262 Following  |  178 Posts  |  Joined: 13.11.2024
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Posts by Darren Dutton (@darrendutton.bsky.social)

Post image 20.02.2026 11:11 — 👍 5    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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“Epstein was an evil paedophile.”

“Yes, and did you see his spelling and grammar?”

31.01.2026 12:22 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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Breaking News: Keir Starmer has forgotten he’s the Prime Minister

04.01.2026 09:49 — 👍 7    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0
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Unexpected #thetraitors #traitors #traitorsuk

01.01.2026 20:53 — 👍 9    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0
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Dignitas founder ends his own life through assisted death Ludwig Minelli, whose work had lasting influence on Swiss law, dies just days before his 93rd birthday

This is where staff discount comes in handy www.theguardian.com/society/2025...

30.11.2025 22:59 — 👍 4    🔁 1    💬 1    📌 0
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Prince Andrew gives up royal titles including Duke of York after 'discussion with King'

Full image second pic

17.10.2025 19:16 — 👍 8    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

“When your bird is broken, will it bring you down…”

25.09.2025 23:46 — 👍 30    🔁 5    💬 3    📌 0
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Alternative uses of a vaginal speculum

22.09.2025 15:52 — 👍 6    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
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Did you know if you drop your phone in water, you can wedge it in this man’s bottom and it will completely dry out

19.09.2025 20:31 — 👍 7    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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“I would never have appointed Peter Mandelson had I known his links to Jeffrey Epstein, who I've never even heard of. I mean, who is he? Has anyone heard of him before? Certainly not me."

15.09.2025 20:37 — 👍 10    🔁 4    💬 2    📌 0

Really looking forward to seeing your show in Birmingham on Wednesday!

08.09.2025 11:32 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 1
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I’d watch it

31.08.2025 08:33 — 👍 7    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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Someone on Twitter requested me to add music to this

29.08.2025 12:11 — 👍 18    🔁 3    💬 0    📌 0
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Ok, so this amused me much more than it should have

29.08.2025 11:52 — 👍 28    🔁 5    💬 1    📌 0

Your mam shouts at hotels and your dad paints roundabouts

29.08.2025 06:15 — 👍 2129    🔁 522    💬 42    📌 23

I like a chicken challenge 🐓

29.08.2025 07:51 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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I found a cute dog

29.08.2025 07:45 — 👍 3    🔁 1    💬 1    📌 0
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Worst version of Family Fortunes I’ve ever seen

26.08.2025 19:21 — 👍 17    🔁 3    💬 0    📌 5

Always suspected Rippon was off her tits

18.08.2025 02:16 — 👍 6    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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The BBC have hacked the new series of MasterChef to pieces

06.08.2025 17:35 — 👍 14    🔁 6    💬 2    📌 1
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My first review is in! 🙌 nottscomedyreview.wordpress.com

06.08.2025 11:11 — 👍 8    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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I have some distressing news for the Lord Mayor of Birmingham.

29.07.2025 08:43 — 👍 9    🔁 1    💬 1    📌 0
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Your porn name is ALAN followed by a term related to hairdressing

28.07.2025 15:25 — 👍 5    🔁 1    💬 1    📌 0
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Roses are red
Violets are mediocre

26.07.2025 16:39 — 👍 25    🔁 4    💬 1    📌 0

Thanks to everyone who correctly pointed out that my name is also alliterative and so it seems I have sealed my own impending death 👍🏼

25.07.2025 16:24 — 👍 10    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

😅

25.07.2025 16:21 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

Ozzy Osbourne then Hulk Hogan, two celebrities with alliterative names. All eyes now on Gary Glitter.

25.07.2025 11:59 — 👍 30    🔁 5    💬 6    📌 3
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New series of MasterChef is pretty short

23.07.2025 13:28 — 👍 84    🔁 36    💬 3    📌 1

Thanks mate!

16.07.2025 05:21 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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I had a crack at stand up! More gigs forthcoming! Can you hear me? Is this thing on?

15.07.2025 18:10 — 👍 9    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0