Clinton J. Boomer

them: y’know maybe an “Epstein List” isn’t something that comes from a DOJ, or a CIA, or a Mossad

them: maybe the REAL epstein list is the friendships ████ made along the way

them: you ever think about that? no, you only think about yourself

us: so we’re gonna have to start stacking bodies, huh?

#starwars

Andor is so good that i’m legitimately angry its Star Wars

Star Wars: A Media Franchise™️©️ includes some of the most dogshit, nakedly cash-grab cultural detritus ever produced, and is ALSO a gross engine of exploitation owned by some of the worst people to ever live

Andor f’n too good for Star Wars

Important proxies, Scud: The Disposable Assassin edition. #mtgcommander #magicthegathering #scud

i mean holy shit this timeline is fucking weird

Important proxies, Giant Robo edition. #mtgcommander #mtgproxies

A cute cartoon picture of a goose with a katana; the cartoon reads “remember: God only gives his dumbest bullshit to his silliest geese”. This cartoon goose is depicted on the side of a metal thermos, as a sticker, and the image is designed to look like an ad, but there is nothing for sale and nothing to buy.

remember

DAAAAAAAAMN YOU!

Someday I‘ll admire what appears to be an illustration & be informed the image is Ai

It’ll feel, I think, much like I bit into a brownie that turned out to be Actual Shit™️

I won‘t be convinced that the slop was “art all along”

I‘ll be convinced that some folks can’t be trusted not to shit in food

dear Edgar Wright & Stephen King,

i am very sorry that I did not see “The Running Man“ this weekend and won’t see it next weekend; it is NOT because i don‘t want to 😞

we’re just wrapping up this whole “civilization“ thing at the moment and film-viewership is down

thanks again for everything! 🥰

“It’s almost 2026; a decade ago I was promised sex-robots by now! Where’s MY sex-robot!? Waah waah waaah!”

that’s what you whiny crybabies sound like

Elon Musk has been sticking his genitals in toasters & trying to trick a machine into smiling at him for OVER TEN FUCKING YEARS you ungrateful shits

BURN HERETIC

i feel like this year a lot of you have forgotten the true meaning of Toyotathon

a reminder to anyone with more money than the rest of us:

you are playing the Ultimatum Game! 😊

did you know that larger rats, when play-fighting, will purposefully lose about 30% of the time?

this is because social animals instinctively experience intense joy at the opportunity to eat defectors!

Sound of Music
2 Sound 2 Music
SoM3: Sounder
The So¥nd 4 Mu$ic
Hills!: Musicer
SIXound VonTrapps vs. Arch-Hitler
Seven of Music
8Sound/Music8
Th9 Soun9 o9
Von Trapps “A Hawaiian Total Mystery!”
Lisel’s Vegas Wedding
[Untitled Baron Von Trapp Prequel]
Scooby meets the Von Trapps/ Harlem Globetrotters

I’ll check it out!

i don’t know what that means but i assume that is because I am not a “hip” person; regardless, i’m very genuinely delighted to have made something someone loves 😊

actually she’s only a ‘MILF’ if John Cho from the East Great Falls region of Michigan, circa 1999, wanted to fuck her

otherwise she’s just a sparkling cougar

Important proxies, Castlevania edition.

they should invent a version of namaste that means, like, “the tism in me vibes at the same frequency as the tism in you, my friend“

and another one that means “yeah lady i’m sure your kid is on the spectrum; as the grown adult selling them elf-cards, now pls stop interrupting our rad conversation”

Your FLGS Magical thGathering post-game etiquette guide (it *WILL* be enforced!):

Optimal: “Good game.”

Suboptimal: “Fuck your deck, pickle-shart.”

Inappropriate: “In response I disrobe; your scoop does NOT resolve. Now sit back down so Mommy can spank your naughty little tush the way she likes.”

The one thing I do appreciate about the US is that no other culture I have ever encountered would produce a folksong where the devil challenges a kid to a duel in an obvious morality play about hubris and then the kid just absolutely kicks his ass and wins the fiddle

Moreover, ICE must be destroyed

Cleric: You’re SURE this is safe?

Wizard: I believe it was Dr. Hugo Strange, Chief of Medicine at Arkham Asylum, who said “fuck it, it’s not like this’ll make the Joker *more * crazy: let’s fire up them electrodes.”

Cleric:

Cleric: ooh that’s not good

Barbarian: Hurry UP! My wig glue is drying!

Paladin: b-but what would the FOUNDING FATHERS think?

Warlock: i don’t give one hot & greasy pickle-shart what the Founding Fucking Fath-

Barbarian: ACTUALLY

Barbarian: yeah uh *actually* it’s “The Thouding They-bors”.

Barbarian: so …

Warlock: ew i hate that

Paladin: yeah wow NO ONE likes that

Barbarian: GAH

Cleric: Oh? Pickle jar again? Heh. “One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”

Barbarian: DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

Cleric:

Cleric: My apologies; do feel free to imagine Sisyphus however you like.

Barbarian: THANK YOU.

Cleric: (resumes reading scripture)

Barbarian: (goes, gets chainsaw)

USA Photo of the year

just having some fun with proxies

Drow: Dark elven has no word for “boyfriend”; our closest term better translates as “devoted foot-servant (horny)”.

Bard: I immediately renounce all loyalties to serve Lolth!

Cleric: No. Bad.

Drow: Interestingly, your word “hello” means “hot MILFs in your area (the Underdark) want me (my blood)”!