Paign of Truth

“If it gets you from point-a to point-b!”

-boomers about a car you drag to point-b, kicking and screaming

Do you want it done an extremely specific way that you thought up or do you want me to do it?

Can’t have both

Me: I’ve never done more than an oil change on my own car before, I should stick to buying a civic with one thing wrong with it for my project car.

Also me: DAMN A ROLLING S CHASSIS FOR 2500???

This hardcore. We play similar sounding songs in this bihh. Don’t like it? Take your sensitive ass back to power metal

Famous “Punk” dudes: “bring the system down!”

Their wives for some fucking reason:

Downside to big ass events in small towns.

There’s opps there

Rich people used to jump off tall buildings when stocks would take a 90 degree dive. What happened to the good ol’ days?

Everybody keeps offering solutions like “write out a lesson plan” “adjust if things don’t work” I’ve been doing every piece of advice you’ve given me for the past two years and I still fucking hate it.

i fucking hate teaching digital art. i could change the class I’m teaching on thursdays if our funders didn’t get us those damn iPads

You can replace my flyer with AI slop all day just because you’re not the headliner on it. I still got my goddamn check

By this I mean I hope they suck or they’re so good that people wonder how they’re cheating

That’s me every time Keep goes out of town

If the White Sox float around .500 this year I’m gonna jump off a bridge. I need a team that’ll make me FEEL something

@champaignshowers.com

Football school??

Just what I needed,more shit to do

passed a gas station on the way into Arkansas called munch n pump which coincidentally, is what I’m gonna do to someone’s mother later

My life is so hard my therapist don’t even wanna hear me piss and moan

In some cultures, it is frowned upon to check someone into their own goal

Jordan Binnington in TD Garden elimination games

I hope mtg never watches hockey again bc of this shit

My bank: finishes processing my tax return

Also my bank: “why he spending money???”

@/danville dashers

Fielding questions about my cats to a backdrop of monster jam. Experience being a DSP!

This new dog sucks

To be fair “just walk in and ask for a job” is also the musician’s “just walk in and ask for a job”

“Just ask a famous band to get on the bill!” is the musician’s “just walk in and ask for a job!”

They say “when they sleep on you, tuck em in” but every time I do that they get outta bed to get a glass of water