Kyle Horner

The lesson, I figure, is that if you want to have it all you just need to do the opposite of what everyone else is doing and be prepared to look a bit weird. That started out as a joke but it actually sound pretty good. Go forth and be weird. What's the worst that can happen?

The Swallow-tailed Gull, with its big, googly eyes, is purpose-built for midnight snacking on the ocean's surface-feeding abundance. Fish and squid are on the menu, and with other seabirds handcuffed by their poor night vision, there's more than enough to go around. 👇

To resolve this, zooplankton - who eat phytoplankton - come to the surface at night, when the birds are asleep. Small fish and squid also visit the top floor to eat the zooplankton, so the ocean's surface at night is a seafood buffet with nobody visiting. Well, almost nobody. 👇

In the end, like all things in the ocean, it comes down to plankton. The ocean's surface is home to phytoplankton - tiny critters that make energy from the sun. Other tiny creatures want to eat the phytoplankton, but the surface is a place with many perils. Birds, for one. 👇

The world's only nocturnal gull is understandably a bit goggle-eyed in full-face. Those honkin' peepers are not unlike the ones you'd find in an owl's head, perfect for spotting prey in the dark. But what could entice this elegant bird to sport this oddball accessory? 👇

An elegant gull is standing on a rock facing sideways. It has long wings folded over its tail, a gently curving beak, and a handsome coat of soft greys.

The same gull stands on a rock, but this time facing the camera. Its eyes appear unusually large and forward facing, giving it a bug-eyed appearance.

In profile, the Swallow-tailed Gull is sublime. The soft gradients, the long wings, the gently curving beak, the tasteful pops of colour...it's a looker in side-view, no doubt. Head-on though, it's a total weirdo. 🧵🪶

Maybe the giant tortoises really have life figured out. Maybe you should climb inside a big cardboard box and breeze about the local park chewing on the greenery. It certainly sounds peaceful, if not entirely thrilling. Food for thought, I suppose.

With people everywhere trying mindfulness and meditation to cope with the chaos of the modern world, it's wild to imagine 55,000 consecutive days spent walking a few steps and munching some grass or a juicy cactus pad. No intrusive thoughts, just sleep, eat, repeat. 👇

I'm not one for buying into the hype, but standing in the vicinity of these big freaking turtles it's hard to deny just how cool they are. Their mystique is amplified by the fact that they can live well in excess of 150 years, albeit at a fairly tottering pace. 👇

A very large tortoise walks in an open, grassy area with trees in the background.

If there's one thing everybody knows about Galapagos Giant Tortoises, it's that they're fairly large. Giant, you could even say. But knowing this simple fact in advance doesn't fully prepare you for the fridge-with-legs proportions of these ambling monoliths. 🧵

It's pretty weird to see penguins while you're sweating under the intense sun of the planet's waistline, but pretty cool (ha) too. The Galapagos seems to break all the rules. No complaints from our Quest Nature Tours group...bunch of rebels.

With no need for the heat-retention of a large body, the Galapagos Penguin has been allowed to become what scientists call "adorable", standing just half a metre tall. Otherwise they're pretty much regular penguins, doing penguin stuff like hunting fish and waddling about. 👇

Three penguins stand on a lava rock in the evening sun.

Somebody once told you that penguins live in Antarctica, but they lied. Or, at the very least, they didn't tell you the whole truth. The diminutive Galapagos Penguin makes its home in the balmy waters of the equatorial Pacific, even occasionally ranging north of that imaginary line. 🧵🪶

Whatever the reason, I count myself lucky to have the opportunity to share space with these ocean-roaming giants, as did our Quest Nature Tours group in the Galapagos. There are many wonderful things in this spectacular place, but the albatross is a tough act to top.

I don't know what it is about albatr...these birds that speaks to me. Maybe it's their aircraftesque flight or their nomadic lifestyle. Maybe it's just how freaking big they are. Maybe it's that they're more cartoon than bird...the perfect fulfilment of my childhood fantasies. 👇

I am a big fan of all albatrosses...albatri...albatros...whatever. The time between my learning of their existence and first seeing one in the flesh was nigh on 25 years, but they did not disappoint for even a second. I still can't get enough. They just do something for me. 👇

An albatross soars in golden light against dark clouds.

They say you should never meet your heroes, but that's obviously a load, because I met mine and it was awesome. On the small island of Española in the Galapagos breeds the Waved Albatross, a bird that is as gangly and ridiculous as it is graceful and magnificent. 🧵🪶

Gulls are confusing enough without over-complicating colours, as demonstrated by this bird's close cousin the Glaucous Gull which is, if anything, less grey (or different grey?) than the Glaucous-winged. They hybridize, too, so you might as well just give up before you start.

This abundant spectrum extends itself to grey, too. Case and point the Glaucous-winged Gull for which grey-winged would be just as descriptive. Actually grey-tipped may be even better, since most gulls are grey-winged and it is just the tips, as they say, that set these apart. 👇

Bird names are full of colour-words that are used nowhere else in the English language. Consider the word fulvous (which means brown). Or buffy (brown again). Or ferruginous (reddish-brown) or hepatic (brownish-red). Truly the bird colour vernacular is a rich tapestry. 👇

A large gull stands on a post by the seashore, with water in the background.

You could accuse birders of many things. Pedantry, for one. Obsessive tendancies, sure. Social awkwardness, probably. But one thing you can definitely not say about birders is that they're not creative when it comes to colours. 🧵🪶

Alas I will not be accused of picking the low-hanging fruit, and instead will simply say that this dark-mode Blue Jay is a very good jay indeed. It's bold, it's loud, and it'll steal your granola bar if you're not looking. What more could you want?

A handsome, dark bird with a pointy crest rests on a tree branch covered in short, green needles.

It's pretty tough to avoid the inevitable pun on Steller's Jay. You see, it works because the English word 'stellar' is very similar to the name 'Steller', and suggests the jay's many positive qualities. It's really very clever. I'm pretty sure I'm the first to think of it. 🪶👇

Female ducks do more with a palette of brown and grey than a moody painter, whether with intricate patterns, smooth gradients, or subtle details. They reward a closer look with a discerning eye, unlike their flash-in-the-pan counterparts. Bright colours are so obvious.

Not all birds have drastically differentiated males and females - maybe not even most - but ducks show the sex divide almost universally. It's hard to deny the appeal of a male Harley in his summer splendour, but that doesn't mean he should get all the attention. 👇

Three ducks are swimming together in deep, wavy water. They are brown in colour with white patches on their faces.

The Harlequin Duck is both known and named for the patchwork plumage of the male. He's a dapper fellow no doubt, but the handsome female brings much to the party, as this elegant trio demonstrates. 🧵🪶

And yet, one must concede there is a certain appeal to the grebelings. Their stripey faces and soft fluffiness and pleading eyes seem perfectly designed to weaken the resolve. But no! Be not tempted by their alluring facade. Only dishevelment awaits.

This husk of her former self pretty much cements my long-held belief that having children is a universally terrible idea. The sleepless nights, the endless cleaning, the screaming mouths demanding to be stuffed full with tiny fish... 👇

With a gaggle of grebelets in tow, the ballet dancer looks more bedraggled than Baryshnikov. There is an unhinged quality that suggests escape will be attempted at any cost. I would not stand in her way. 👇

A small, duck-like bird cruises through the water.

An adult grebe with wet, matted feathers is swimming in a marsh, surrounded by three fluffy chicks.

The Horned Grebe is a petite picture of poise and perfection. Not a feather out of place, she glides and dives with the grace of a ballet dancer. Until, that is, the children arrive. 🧵🪶