Glasgow Kiss

8:00: starts work

8:07: works out how long until home time

8:08: can’t do mental maths this early

8:30: yeah, this is a much easier
increment to calculate

8:31: feels deflated again when I work out the answer

All's fair in love and war when you're a dick.

Linkin Water Park

Image from Twitter

Must’ve been hit by a smooth criminal.

You tell a rational technology to go to hell and what does it do, the very rational bon voyage that your astronaut heart is afraid of, and coordinates are already go for the funny little space saving smart drill car

Me, thinking about all the cheese I'm gonna eat when I get home from work.

instead of going to our year 10 formal, my friend and i (we were both 15 years old - 1992) decided to spend the night on the beach by ourselves, watching the waves, falling asleep on the sand, woke up in the morning and made our way back to her sister's house unscathed 🙄🤦‍♀️

Cartoon from Der Spiegel shows the world as seen by Trump.

ONE OF THE MOST QUOTED
‘PINK PANTHER’ SCENES !

They broke this US Marines arm because he dared to shout 'No one wants to fight for Israel'.

Grey sky with bare tree branches, a bird perched on a branch, the moon and the top of a telegraph pole with cables.

Morning

Google search suggestion that says "something stuck in my foot but can't see it"

pesky, elusive foot bones

wondering if a passport is required to relocate to pluto

things that are making me smile at work today:

• randomly grabbing a bunch of envelopes that end up being the exact quantity i need

• coffee

things that are annoying me at work today:

• everything else

Your star will shine again one day, Charlie Brown

Strength isn’t always loud.
Staying out of stupid games? Now THAT’S power. 🇪🇸

i read something off a card and kept repeating it to myself so i could remember to type it out and only realised after a delay that i was saying 2006 to myself instead of 2026 and that's how sharp my brain is today

Magic in your hands one minute, dropped and kicked under the stove the next. That reminds you though how the broken fixes itself when you make an appointment and maybe one pretend phone call is a wand

All my posts will be, collection only, from this point forward.

Fun fact:

Fun facts aren’t fun.

Rage Against the Washing Machine.

Choose a word. Think of it. Keep it to yourself, noone cares.

💙

Some say the canaries still work down there, and on true crime nights with no sitcoms you can hear them cry like the phoenix to say just kidding, laughter

who made this

Fuck Israel.

Let’s hope this latest war, doesn’t push up the price of “life coaches”.

IT’S FUKN HARD ENOUGH OUT HERE!!

Some of you have never been, “employee of the month” and it shows.