Ali Hancock

Oh and swansea museum has an Egyptian mummy

Yeah, but I bet there will be a better exhibition on at Elysium gallery. It's on high street, not far from the station. Volcano is sometimes worth a look, too.

Submission guidelines for a humorous poem competition: "In addition to English, your poem may contain inspired gibberish."

Please have a play. You are a raven. A creature of myth and legend... or just a big bird, your choice.
Eat the gods!
Dance with a Dracula!
Take Edgar Allan Poe to Alton Towers!
Ruin a Zumba class!
Drive the M4 w a mythic princess!
Get very lost & end up in the wrong game!
j2gb9g9f.play.borogove.io

Have now watched the film Wreck It Ralph (which is excellent) but I don't think Vanellope is a good name for a pig. Maybe Q-bert is?

A white short haired guinea pigs with spots - SPOTS! He has dark red eyes and is at least considering shenanigans.

A lilac and ginger guinea pig with red eyes. In guinea pig land lilac is a kind of grey/beige. She's smaller and is contemplating freaking out more.

Look at my new guinea pigs! The spotty one is Wreck-It Ralph, the other hasn't got a name yet and is freaked out by everything at the moment.

Tatws, who I've had for a couple of years, decided she didn't like anyone, so she now has a granny flat attached to the main one.

Headline: your echo dot speaker just got a lot more cheerful thanks to this alexa personality upgrade.

🎶 Your plastic pal who's fun to be with! 🎶

To be fair, we never had burglars.

My little brother invented a lego trap in case of burglars. He left it on the window sill with a note that said "Burglar press here". When they did, they would be hit in the face by a low velocity 2x1 lego.

A yellow and blue sock with a Swedish drinking song on it.

Today's to do list
1. Translate socks* (tick)

*it's a Swedish drinking song which is a classier way of chanting DOWN IN ONE!

Dreamt I was shaking a measuring tape like a magic eight ball. Everyone laughed. Was trying to quickly work out what the funniest length would be to get a second laugh.

New material writing is going well guys.

Bez was once found out cheating on Bargain Hunt and had to pay back the £8 he scammed #totp

In the very olden days economic wars were waged over dyes. Your average person would have killed for something in a pale green.

Those guys are in the afterlife watching 1999 #TOTP yelling at so many people who voluntarily wear beige

Well someone's done the Daz doorstep challenge #totp

The boys in beige #totp

Between FlightRadar24 and Fish Doorbell, I'm pretty confident I've got my finger on the pulse of current events.

Between FlightRadar24 and Fish Doorbell, I'm pretty confident I've got my finger on the pulse of current events.

It's a lungfish. Imagine a weird long fish that's had it's lips done, so it's somewhere between a pout and a puppy face. It's fins are definitely on their way to being legs, evolutionarily.

Look at this guy! Half fish, half axolotl, half puppy. 150% CREATURE.

Taskmaster thought: I know its Alex that says it, but Greg used to be a teacher and as an ex-lecturer I often found myself frustratedly saying some version of "all the information is in the brief!"

I'd say it looks exactly like a turbot

Screenshot from BBC news. The headline is the not at all portentious "Blood rain and fiery sunsets as Saharan dust sweeps UK." on the right another headline reads "Full worm and blood moon shines in tne night sky".

Blood rain, blood moon...cool cool cool

My guinea pig is off to meet new friends today. There's a non zero chance she'll come back with a guinea pig called Tony :)

Screenshot from BBC news. The headline is the not at all portentious "Blood rain and fiery sunsets as Saharan dust sweeps UK." on the right another headline reads "Full worm and blood moon shines in tne night sky".

Blood rain, blood moon...cool cool cool

Headline: private jet prices soar as wealthy scramble to leave Dubai.

Knew I should have bought one last year.

Looks like the shittake's hit the fan

I foolishly went for the loo rolls

Headline: private jet prices soar as wealthy scramble to leave Dubai.

Knew I should have bought one last year.

I've heard that if you're audhd and start adhd meds, sometimes the au bit comes out more. Not sure if it's true but I'm sure that eventually *one* of these excel spreadsheets I've been making will have an answer.

It's a Saint David's Day miracle

A black white and ginger abyssinian guinea pig eating cucumber while sitting on my arm.

Tatws (most nervous of all guinea pigs) actually accepted and ate food from me while I held her! The power of cucumber