Dana Menard

March is the only month that is also a verb wait no we forgot about May never mind as you were

You have a place to wash your coffee mug???

Update: It didn't go very well. Everyone else in Windsor was clearly plotting too.

Isn't that what sprinkler systems are for?

Painful, Dave.

anyway, protect the dolls or die in a battery fire. seriously fine either way

a Model Y with a “I bought this before Elon went crazy” bumper sticker next to a Cybertruck with a "trans science kills kids" bumper sticker at a red light, getting literally exact the same amount of respect from us

My dog: This water dish hasn't been scrubbed in 23 hours, it does not meet my exacting standards.

Also my dog: Ooh, spicy puddle water. Don't mind if I do.

I'm feeling really on top of things lately, and I realized why last week. In Rosemary's first year of daycare, I was deathly sick 1 out of every 3 months. Now I'm not. You can get a lot of shit done when you are not constantly sick/recovering from daycare viruses.

Hey why did the costco ceo actually reply to my email

Alex, no need to help.

I moved to 2 midterms and a final exam. Warning: marks were godawful. I had to curve so hard. Let me know if I can share anything helpful.

Canada literally made a commercial making fun of people who wanted this.

A gaggle of small, plastic dinos are visible inside the yellow submarine toy

A yellow submarine bath toy is perched on the ege of a tub

You've heard of Snakes on a Plane. Now get ready for Dinos in a Submarine (courtesy of my 4 year old).

Probably not in Ohio.

What even is this timeline???

A black forest trifle bowl on a pseudo granite countertop.

Top view of trifle

Behold, the traditional Family Day trifle.

The 2026 Barkley Marathons is over. There are no finishers. #BM100

The old guy who owns the dry cleaning/alteration place looked at my sneakers with their soles peeling away and then asked me 1) how old they were and 2) what I had paid for them. The answers were "15+ years" and "they were free." I can't remember the last time I felt so called out.

Yay the barkleys! during which i cheer blindly at a list of unhelpful nicknames of insane people i dont know as they endure 3 days of sleep deprivation & terrain-and-weather-related torture on a mountain in TN, on purpose, as narrated by a mysterious figure called "keith" #bm100

It's okay people: I salvaged the situation by buying some capers too. Nothing weird about that.

Don't you live with somebody who could make you trifle?

I have to go buy cherries and whipping cream on Valentine's day and it feels so perverted but I swear to God, they're for the trifle I am making for Family Day on Monday. It's a long story.

After a brief memorial, laz lit the cigarette at 6:00am. The 2026 Barkley Marathons has begun. #BM100

Loved Hail Mary. DNFed Artemis.

...weren't you homeschooled?

Reading a reddit comment about Katabasis and someone said "How could someone with such a normal upbringing get messed up so badly by one toxic advisor?" Ma'am, that is the most accurate part of the book by far.

Nah, I'm talking LiveJournal, baby.