MelodyMoon

Transitioning is fear-mongered by republicans. In reality, it’s just accepting that jars are hard to open now.

Evil republicans be like: What if we took care of each other and loved our neighbor as the LORD loves his children.

Me trying to flirt: “I used to have a drinking problem”
*opens a bottle of topo chico with my car keys*

Capitalism only works on paper. It operates in opposition to human nature.

AI is really cool if you hate drinkable water

I didn’t understand the sexy clown thing until a dommy little tranny in clown make up make me safe around her.

I have never been this horny in my life.

MAGA dad trying to relate to his trans daughter: Mysex doll isn’t a real woman either, but I love her all the same.

Mom says it’s my turn on the gock.

Me trying to sound smart: Bloodborne is about 2 things, panacea and apotheosis.

My roommate: heh, panussy

T4T is no longer enough. I need T5T.

Cis men hate us cause our dicks smell better

AI sales pitch- Have you ever wanted the predictive text on your phone to triple your power bill AND boil the atmosphere?

The worst part about being a girl is having to constantly untangle your balls from cute underwear.

Getting real tired of bears asking me to top them.

This is not hate for bear bottoms. This is hate for people who won’t read my dating profile.

“And then she called me a pathetic waste of my deadbeat dad’s cum.”

-me talking about the best day of my life

Every new word gen z invented sounds like it’s a slur for bottoms.

I finally meet a guy that isn’t a cop or a republican only for every doll in the city to tell me he’s dangerous.

Gay doesn’t even begin to describe me. I’m attracted to genders you can’t fathom at niche, kink events you can’t even conceive.

People he harmed directly and indirectly: 🤷‍♀️

People that directly benefited from his fascism: How dare you glorify ANY violence. There’s NEVER a reason for someone to die under ANY circumstance.

Banning pornography will not sate the Bible-Belt’s appetite for tranny porn. What is the end game?

Asking on behalf of the cops I ghost on Grindr.

I’m not big into pumpkin spice, but I’m always happy to have a second pride month.

I just used the term t4t with a coworker and he thought I meant “trading tea for tea” as in gossip.

Why the fuck are people driving the speed limit?

Saying “I’m wearing pants” is the same as saying “I’m wearing long pants”

In the universe where farmers wear booty shorts, I have a farmer’s tan.

The key to getting a goth gf is to be an absolutely, full-sent, target mom.

“You know I always keep that thang on me”

*pulls tarot deck out at work*

Getting real tired of hot guys at work ruining my chances with them by having “a wife” and that they’re “happy together”

I deserve better.

The second time I see something: woah, dejavu.

The first time I see something: woah, vu.

❌ soymilk
✅ boy milk