jbexte

people going viral for swallowing cinnamon but no one going viral for being a polite young man this is what wrong

as a man why aren’t you at the bar showing as many women as possible slow-mo and close up videos of lizards eating flies

drinking milk and eating cookies at the bar, apparently this is “lame” and “childish” and “not allowed because i can’t bring food and drink in the bar”. people need to stop putting me down

working on something, quick peak behind the curtain at a rough draft here: congressgaymen passing legi-slay-tion in the house of lgbtq+ representation

as a woke landlord that understands the power dynamics, i only have white male tenants so as to even out the playing field, allowing marginalized groups to have more opportunity to buy property

guess what, i DO dream of labor! just recently i dreamt about being the personal stylist to a particularly buxom ladybug. sorry lefties.

biden 2028 will save this

wait i don’t want to get beasted on i want to beast on

maroon 5 if they cared about non-violence, self-control, and the belief that all creatures have souls: hey guys this is my new album “songs about jainism”

new invention: hot chips that make you tell the truth

they should make an energy drink equivalent of a coffee maker. i want to put my monster energy beans into some hardware and pour it into a mug

sometimes you see a british person that makes you think “yeah i could see how they could do a jack the ripper”

guy who is really good at pronouncing things: i only eat foods with ingredients i can pronounce!

haunted houses gotta be top 5 scariest types of house

new chinese new year, new chinese me. be sure to keep it really horse this year fellas

swedish massage? what do they use lingonberry as the massage oil?

black currant? i’d say it’s a black past, currant, and future ✊

definitive pokemon gen 1 and 2 tier lists

james van der beek dies on my half birthday. go figure. f this.

JVB dead??

jon hamm
jon porkchopp
jon oxtaill
jon chuckk roastt

and what did tony do to be killed? perhaps Rehabilitate Tony is more what we should be focusing on #prisonreform

uh more like drake “maye not win this”!

yeah ring you’re going to use that for dogs, right

i can read peoples minds but it comes through as chinese and i don’t speak chinese

chubby checker was ahead of his time

guy who has three paychecks worth of prop bets placed when his coworker asks who he’s rooting for in the super bowl: ahh yeah i’m just rooting for a good game and for no one to get hurt :-)

i do think if you spend all that money on airpods instead of just getting regular wired earbuds you should not be allowed to have a job or children

i guess it would be weirder if tom brady hid kissing his sons on the lips from the camera

whenever a beautiful woman is dating an ugly guy, people immediately jump to say the guy could have a “great personality” but have you considered maybe her personality sucks?