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cow tools daily

@cowtoolsdaily.bsky.social

posting a new cow tools every day unless i don't

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Posts by cow tools daily (@cowtoolsdaily.bsky.social)

Eight Popeye-related statues displayed throughout the city of Chester, Illinois, where Thimble Theater/Popeye creator Elzie Segar was born and raised. Statues shown are Popeye, Olive Oyl with Swee'Pea and Eugene the Jeep, Alice the Goon, Poopdeck Pappy, Brutus/Bluto, King Blozo, The Sea Hag and Roughhouse.

Eight Popeye-related statues displayed throughout the city of Chester, Illinois, where Thimble Theater/Popeye creator Elzie Segar was born and raised. Statues shown are Popeye, Olive Oyl with Swee'Pea and Eugene the Jeep, Alice the Goon, Poopdeck Pappy, Brutus/Bluto, King Blozo, The Sea Hag and Roughhouse.

TIL: Chester, Illinois has a "Popeye Trail" of 19 statues (28 characters) situated throughout the city in honor of hometown hero Elzie Segar. Beyond the main cast they have Castor/The Whiffle Hen, The Sea Hag/Bernard, Alice the Goon & Child, King Blozo, Toar & more. I have a nerdly urge to visit.

04.03.2026 08:34 — 👍 593    🔁 151    💬 17    📌 12
White mug with folksy blue designs and handlettering that reads "cyanide".

White mug with folksy blue designs and handlettering that reads "cyanide".

cyanide ☠️

03.03.2026 22:21 — 👍 245    🔁 60    💬 0    📌 1

instead of a pill sorter i just tape pills to every page of my far side calendar follow me for more life hacks

04.03.2026 14:59 — 👍 90    🔁 16    💬 0    📌 0

the orville bumped me when they put out an episode all about "court of public opinion run amok" in the wake of MeToo. the episode also had a scene about how people concerned about cultural appropriation are sooooooo annoying. it's your conservative uncle's star trek

04.03.2026 14:03 — 👍 20    🔁 0    💬 3    📌 0

they are trying to lean into the viral moment and spin the bad publicity because all that matters is engagement. and product.

04.03.2026 13:54 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

thank you josie 🤍🐮

04.03.2026 13:52 — 👍 4    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0
Cartoon titled "know the work rules".

The first panel, labeled "appropriate" depicts Garfield the cat in a business suit leaning around the edge of a cubicle and pointing to a woman at her desk while saying, "coffee lasagna Mondays am I right?" to which the woman responds, hands clasped together, "awww you're so funny"

The second panel, labeled "inappropriate", depicts a far side cow leaning around the edge of the same cubicle and speaking with a word bubble which contains only the shapes of the 4 cow tools.  The woman fearfully picks up the 
Phone and says, "hello , complaint department??!"

Cartoon titled "know the work rules". The first panel, labeled "appropriate" depicts Garfield the cat in a business suit leaning around the edge of a cubicle and pointing to a woman at her desk while saying, "coffee lasagna Mondays am I right?" to which the woman responds, hands clasped together, "awww you're so funny" The second panel, labeled "inappropriate", depicts a far side cow leaning around the edge of the same cubicle and speaking with a word bubble which contains only the shapes of the 4 cow tools. The woman fearfully picks up the Phone and says, "hello , complaint department??!"

know the funny papers rules

04.03.2026 13:42 — 👍 1659    🔁 263    💬 14    📌 2

real

04.03.2026 03:01 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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$Heathcliffhelms

03.03.2026 23:50 — 👍 64    🔁 9    💬 2    📌 1

it was never about that before twitter

03.03.2026 21:50 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
all the pokemon starters with one favorite circled for each generation:

1. Bulbasaur
2. Totodile
3. Mudkip
4. Pipulp
5. Tepig
6. Froakie
7. Rowlet
8. Scorbunny
9. Sprigatito
10. Pombon

all the pokemon starters with one favorite circled for each generation: 1. Bulbasaur 2. Totodile 3. Mudkip 4. Pipulp 5. Tepig 6. Froakie 7. Rowlet 8. Scorbunny 9. Sprigatito 10. Pombon

2-4 undeniable run for water types

03.03.2026 21:44 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

this is such a good bit. well done!

03.03.2026 21:18 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

Seeing @cowtoolsdaily.bsky.social posting about jokes, punchlines, and the explanation etc thereof, suggests that this is an excellent opportunity for me to share this video of me telling two jokes over the course of about ten minutes, and explaining why they are funny in *excruciating* detail...

03.03.2026 21:00 — 👍 40    🔁 15    💬 5    📌 2

i'm convinced this read is something somebody came up with much later (like, post-internet) and had no bearing on the joke's original construction or popularity

03.03.2026 20:54 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

it's very closely related to

"when geese fly in a V, why is one side is always longer than the other?"

03.03.2026 20:49 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

I think that read of the joke is recent and came well after the joke itself was already ubiquitous.

the original intent i think was more like a Leslie Nielsen joke. "to get to the other side" is an accurate answer to the question, but is so obvious and literal it hardly bears stating at all.

03.03.2026 20:46 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 2    📌 0

Cow Tools mentioned @cowtoolsdaily.bsky.social 🐄🛠️

03.03.2026 20:20 — 👍 14    🔁 1    💬 1    📌 0

it's like a Jokes 102 joke that is for some reason routinely used to answer the question "what is a joke"?

but it only works if you are already familiar enough with joke structure to expect a non-literal punchline.

03.03.2026 20:19 — 👍 62    🔁 3    💬 6    📌 1

if you try to forget that

"why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side."

is THE go-to example of an overused unfunny joke, it's actually a pretty good anti-joke. i think the biggest thing going against it for my generation is we first heard it at age 5 instead of like, 13.

03.03.2026 20:15 — 👍 109    🔁 10    💬 5    📌 0
Flyer for a mysterious missing tool worth $40

Flyer for a mysterious missing tool worth $40

?

03.03.2026 20:05 — 👍 82    🔁 6    💬 6    📌 1
cover art for Beck's Odelay Album featuring a dog who yh fur like a mop jumping over an agility obstacle and his fur-dreads are going all crazy

cover art for Beck's Odelay Album featuring a dog who yh fur like a mop jumping over an agility obstacle and his fur-dreads are going all crazy

03.03.2026 19:33 — 👍 37    🔁 0    💬 2    📌 0
Post image Post image Post image Post image

One of my favorite styles of album cover is just “dog in situation.”

03.03.2026 19:29 — 👍 155    🔁 44    💬 8    📌 11
Donning his new canine decoder, Professor Schwartzman becomes the first human being on Earth to hear what barking dogs are actually saying.

Donning his new canine decoder, Professor Schwartzman becomes the first human being on Earth to hear what barking dogs are actually saying.

Donning his new canine decoder, Professor Schwartzman becomes the first human being on Earth to hear what barking dogs are actually saying.

03.03.2026 17:21 — 👍 1130    🔁 301    💬 6    📌 34

all-timer

03.03.2026 19:29 — 👍 9    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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I think Buffalo Bell and Whitney Pokemon would lez out here's why:
-They both like baseball
-They're both pink
-Whitney's strongest Pokemon is Miltank (cow)
-Buffalo Bell is a cow
-obvi lesbos

02.03.2026 15:17 — 👍 146    🔁 30    💬 3    📌 1

and if you can recognize all that from a silhouette, you're cooking

03.03.2026 00:11 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Does anyone else find it slightly suspicious that mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey?

02.03.2026 20:25 — 👍 71    🔁 10    💬 9    📌 3
Titlescreen of Pokopia editted so that it reads 'miltank tools'.

Titlescreen of Pokopia editted so that it reads 'miltank tools'.

If I may...

02.03.2026 22:05 — 👍 78    🔁 13    💬 0    📌 0

tysm

02.03.2026 21:55 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0
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Almost seems wrong making them fight.

15.08.2025 11:16 — 👍 267    🔁 27    💬 2    📌 0