Lillian...at last

Oh yay, another holiday for Americans to turn into a drink fest. We love reducing people's culture to getting shitfaced on drinks named after painful periods in their history.

The absurdity of a "white history month".

As if the mediocrity and nepotism isn't on full display every day.

January 21, 2029 trans people will still be here.

"I will not pretend
I will not put on a smile
I will not say I'm all right for you
When all I wanted was to be good
To do everything in truth"
-Martha Wainwright

I don't think I was prepared for just how vulnerable I feel as a disabled person who needs help with a lot of things.

Unless they specifically ask you for help, pretend that the handles on their wheelchair don't exist.

Don't move someone's wheelchair.

In exchange for society's tolerance of our existence, disabled people are supposed to be grateful for the table scraps we're offered, if we are offered them at all.

A diagnosis is not guaranteed. Some people wait years, decades before getting a diagnosis for their symptoms.

Some people never find out in their lifetime.

Great news! You don't have this serious condition that has decades of research, community awareness, 5k runs, funding, and charities.

You have a serious condition that comes with none of that AND massive stigma, both from the community and your doctors.

Hooray!
#FunctionalNeurologicalDisorder

Altadena family says disabled father and son were left to burn: 'Nobody was coming' Anthony Mitchell Sr., an amputee who used a wheelchair, and his son Justin, who had cerebral palsy, died due to slow evacuation efforts during the Altadena fire, relatives said Friday.

This is the nightmare that many disabled people have. The current fire safety plan for disabled people is to wait for help. Watching everyone around you run to safety.

www.latimes.com/california/s...

I think lots of pre-disabled people stare at disabled people because they want to try and figure out whether that particular thing can happen to them.

I'm here to say that yes, it absolutely can.

It wasn't a car accident, it wasn't a fall.
I just got "lucky".

Disabled people's value isn't determined by how inspirational they are.

The American Health Care System:
How much do you like being alive, in dollars?

When you tell a disabled person "I could never live like that" or "I'd rather be de*d than disabled", you're saying you don't think their life is as valuable and worth living.

And that's really messed up.

Imagine the worst thing you can.
The IOF has done and is doing it.

7 years ago this week my mom went into hospice and I began the grief process. Just waiting, knowing she wasn't going to wake up and I'd get a phone call that I wouldn't want to answer.

Holding space for people going through this right now.

Had a dream my mom had died, and I woke up with a feeling of relief because she's already gone.

It was really nice to see her, actually, even if she died at the end of the dream.

What an absolute pile of shit disguised as a person.

I'm so sorry. I try to be inclusive, and this SC case is just sowing seeds for us to tear ourselves apart.

So you're a white transexual woman who just had FFS, what are you going to do now?

White transexual woman: tell other trans people they aren't trans enough!

In my case, the clonus/movements started everything, so that's what drove my neurologist towards FND. The fatigue and muscle weakness came later.

I'm still not quite over the times the a computer game I used to play would whisper "death" and "Lillian" to me at like 11:30 at night.

I'm not confined to a wheelchair any more than you're confined to your car or bike.

And how can you put that straw up your nose
When you know how coke is manufactured?
It's made by children for the immature
It is made by babies who've been captured

A nation that bombs children,
Bombs paramedics
Bombs surgeons, nurses, and hospital staff
Bombs NICUs and power plants
Bombs aid workers
Has no right to exist.

My partner helped me eat lunch today and that's okay.

It's okay to ask for help sometimes.

My neurologist said it's going to get worse before it gets better, but it just keeps getting worse.
I'm losing so much function it's ridiculous, but (according to the neurologist) I have to be onboard with the diagnosis or the CBT won't work to fix it.

F*ck FND

I'm in your eyes and you still can't see me now
I'm in your sight but you're lookin' all around
No wonder why I'm so lost and never found
I keep a light in the sound
You keep on pullin' shades down