Missy (parody)

Doubtful the way you constantly mistreat it. The best hope we have is to find another means of travel

And destroyed they should stay! In your image? How disgusting

Is there a purpose to where you’re going, or are you just sulking and wandering like a stray?

You wish to rebuild Gallifrey and all of the insanity and pomp that entails. Who is the fool?

What are you waiting for? Permission? Shooooo

*she waved her hands like she was trying to make a stray go away*

You may not be me me, but you are A me and that’s all I need to know to not trust you. You understand, it’s completely personal

Better the idiot go first and stumble into trouble rather than me. Go ahead

I’m glad you’re finally recognising yourself for what you are. It’s progress

Oh dear, how sad, never mind

Oh you’re not Omega food? Shame. I was talking about the white haired crone you, as it happens, so kindly mind it!

I think I’ll pass. I know you too well

You and I wish! Come along, let’s see what we can find

Well finally, a smart decision. It had to happen sometime. So we’re on Earth again are we?

*Missy spun around with her hands palm up*

Where exactly? And how did you pay? Have you completely lost the plot this time?!

That’ll be for five minutes, then you gave up and started to mope about feeling sorry for yourself

Hardly the point! We were getting along so very well. I even betrayed my younger self for you. Not that I expect that will count very much to you, but it meant a lot to me

Have you even tried searching for it?

You contempt should actually be a badge of honour, so thank you Dave

Because it’s just too easy

Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. A bit like your brain sometimes

Depends on which version I find, but yes, rob her blind! Than you for the suggestion dear. I’ll keep in touch

That’s a point. Which is why I needed help from SOMEONE with a TARDIS. Let me think… “Gimme ya Time Ring yer nasty ole crone” and bash her on the head with my umbrella. It’s basic, but my plans usually tend to fail when they’re over complicated

Did you know The Rani is still alive? Came as no surprise to me really. I think I might go and have a wee chat if I can locate her

Still, it would’ve been nice to have met you properly. I’m in need of a stable means of time and space travel and I seriously doubt the yokels on wherever this is have the capabilities

You do know that I’m quite handy when it comes to cobbling things together… sometimes. This pod thingemy is being taken apart as we speak and I have no intention of hitching anything. Stealing, yes.

Let me guess

*taps it in and it opens up*

Who exactly am I supposed to communicate with apart from you and your TARDIS, who was very helpful as it happens

I’m not saying that at all. It arrived just in the nick of time. I would just have preferred to at least choose my destination. Did you at least put some supplies in that thing? There was nothing in the inside, but it was dark

I would think after everything that I wasn’t just anybody. That contraption I managed to MacGyver together was all made from what we I could find. I’m surprised it lasted as long as it did. Now I have nothing

Just who exactly do you think you’re talking to? You expect ME to believe THAT?!

*She looks around*

You diverted it!! I thought it was bringing me to the safety of your TARDIS? Hmpff!! How very rude!