DENVER’S FUCKING WEATHER

DENVER IT IS 18° CURRENTLY WITH POSSIBLE WHITE STUFF THIS AFTERNOON, SOUNDS LIKE PRIME MATT GAETZ WEATHER IF I'VE EVER SEEN IT. FOR THE REST OF US THO, HOLY FUCKIN BRRRRRR.

SUN: 26°/16° LIL' BIT O' SNOW
MON: 41°/27°
TUE: 47°/27°
WED: 30°/16° ALL-DAY @DENVERSNOW.BSKY.SOCIAL
THU: 36°/23°
FRI: 41°/29°

DENVER… IT’S GETTING FUCKING DREARY OUTSIDE. I DON’T LINE DREARY. KNOW WHAT HELPS WITH THE DOLDRUMS? SPLIFFS. BIG OL MOTHERFUCKING SPLIFFS… AND IF U NEED HELP ROLLING UR OWN U KNOW U GOT A FRIEND IN ME ❤️

SUN: 54°
MON: 59°
TUE: 43° BRRRRR
WED: 49°
THU: 57°
FRI: 59°

DENVER WE ARE HEADING INTO A TYPICAL NOVEMBER WEEKEND WHERE IT'LL GET COLD BUT NOT MATT GAETZ-HOPS-ON-A-FLIGHT-TO-COLORADO COLD... NOT YET...

FRI: 49°/37°
SAT: 61°/39°
SUN: 57°/38° SOME RAIN

DENVER THIS WEEK WE'LL HAVE A SLOW FALL INTO MADNESS I MEAN A SLOW DESCENT INTO FALL I MEAN IT'S BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED NOVEMBER... FUCK.

SUN: 70°/45° <-- THE LAST GOOD ONE
MON: 61°/38°
TUE: 62°/38°
WED: 61/°38°
THU: 50°/36° RAIN
FRI: 48°/35° MORE RAIN

DENVER THIS MAY BE DECENT WEATHER'S LAST GASP UNTIL 2026 (assuming 2026 happens), SO MOTHERFUCKS LET'S MAKE THE MOST OF THESE SEVENTY DEGREE MASTERPIECES WE ARE PRESENTED WITH IN THIS, THE MIDDLE OF FREAKING NOVEMBER.

FRI: 74°/50° BEAUTIFUL
SAT: 72°/44° NICE
SUN: 70°/44° I'LL TAKE IT

DENVER THIS MAY BE DECENT WEATHER'S LAST GASP UNTIL 2026 (assuming 2026 happens), SO MOTHERFUCKS LET'S MAKE THE MOST OF THESE SEVENTY DEGREE MASTERPIECES WE ARE PRESENTED WITH IN THIS, THE MIDDLE OF FREAKING NOVEMBER.

FRI: 74°/50° BEAUTIFUL
SAT: 72°/44° NICE
SUN: 70°/44° I'LL TAKE IT

DENVER, WHAT YR SEEING IS TRUE: YES, THE WEATHER GODS ARE GIVING A BIG MIDDLE FINGER TO @denversnow.bsky.social, AND YES I AM HERE FOR THAT JAJAJAJA F U PRECIPITATION LOL OH "BUT WE NEED THE MOISTURE" ... OH WELL

SUN: 51°/32°
MON: 71°/51°
TUE: 71°/40°
WED: 69°/45°
THU: 72°/46°
FRI: 71°/42°

DENVER, WHAT'S TOTALLY FUCKED UP ABOUT THIS WEATHER IS THIS IS THE COLDEST IT'S GOING TO BE FOR THE NEXT TEN DAYS? I'D SAY "WTF, COLORADO" BUT WE LIVE HERE... WE KNOW.

YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:
FRI: 63°/38°
SAT: 56°/29° FROSTY
SUN: 51°/31°

🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞
💃 FUCKING 💃
🕺 GORGEOUS 🕺
✨ WEATHER ✨
🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞

IT MAY BE IN THE SEVENTIES IN THE CITY BUT IT'S STILL EIGHTY FUCKING DEGREES AT THE AIRPORT WHICH MEANS THIS SPLIFF-ROLLIN POOL-CANNONBALLIN' TRAIN IS STILL MOTHERFUCKING CHUGGING DOWN THE MOTHERFUCKING TRACKS

THE SECRET HERE IS ANY POOL WILL DO: HOTEL, INDOOR, KIDDIE, HELL EVEN BATHTUB WITH THE RIGHT FRIENDS

FUCKING FUCK YEA WE HIT 80 DEGREES BITCHEZZZZZZZ SUMMER AIN'T DEAD YET SOMEONE ROLL ME A SPLIFF AND SHOW ME THE WAY TO THE NEXT POOL PARTY IMMA BOUT READY TO CANNONBALL

you mean burp

BREAKING NEWS THE FORECAST HAS BEEN UPGRADED AND TODAY'S HIGH BUMPED UP TO 81° I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE CELEBRATING EIGHTY DEGREES IN NOVEMBER BUT MOTHERFUCKING SHITBURPS, HERE WE ARE.

DENVER WE ARE IN FOR SOME MAJESTICALLY BEAUTIFUL AUTUMN TEMPERATURES THIS WEEK, TRULY WONDROUS, FUCKING DELIGHTFUL, MAY US ALL FIND THE SPACE TO FROLIC IN THIS SHIT.

SUN: 79° (YAY) 38° (BRRR)
MON: 59°/44°
TUE: 76°/41° BEAUTIFUL
WED: 66°/46° VERY NICE
THU: 66°/39° YES
FRI: 64°/44° STILL DECENT

DENVER, I CANNOT BELIEVE MY MOTHERFUCKING EYES: WE MAY HIT 80° SUNDAY. WHAT IN THE FALL FUCKERY IS THIS SHIT? NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING BUT MAN THE WEATHER GODS ARE WILDING

YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:
FRI: 50°/30° BRRRR
SAT: 65°/46° GETTING WARMER
SUN: 79°/38° BEAUTEOUS

DENVER IT PAINS ME TO SAY IT BUT HERE COMES THE FUCKIN BRRRRR. HOWEVER, IT PLEASURES ME TO ANNOUNCE THE OFFICIAL START OF MOTHERFUCKING SWEATER WEATHER WE DID IT Y'ALL IT IS TIME!

YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:
SUN: 71°/46°
MON: 68°/32°
TUE: 49°/27° SWEATERRR
WED: 56°/34° WEATHERRR
THU: 55°/32°
FRI: 57°/40°

DENVER WHO KNOWS HOW MANY 70-DEGREE DAYS WE HAVE LEFT WE MUST TREASURE THESE LIL' GUYS WITH OUR WHOLE HEART WE MUST CELEBRATE THEM FOR THEY WILL NOT LAST.

YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:
FRI: 65°/42°
SAT: 72°/48°
SUN: 71°/45°

"FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE MAD" #LIES

Cover of Merriam-Webster's All Caps dictionary, a red background with a white circle and text for people who are mad.

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY SORRY FOR OUR DELAY WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THIS WAS A REAL DAY.

DENVER IT IS FREAKING COLD THIS MORNING THESE MORNINGS ARE GETTING A BIT BRISK FOR MY LIKING BUT THE REST OF THE DAYS ARE JUST FUCKING GLORIOUS EXCEPT FOR THE WIND THE WIND CAN SUCK MY MOLDY PEACHES LOL.

SUN: 77°/47°
MON: 61°/37° WINDY
TUE: 68°/40°
WED: 69°/44°
THU: 63°/46°
FRI: 63°/43°

thank you tbh I wrote it first the wrong way and then had to delete and repost with the apostrophes removed because i couldn't bear to look at myself in the mirror with the wrong "its" out there in the world

DENVER I WILL NEVER TIRE OF CELEBRATING COLORADO’S MAJESTY, ITS AUTUMNAL HUM, ITS LEAFY FALL VIBRATIONS, THE CRUNCHY MORNINGS AND THE ROLLING AFTERNOONS, ALL OF WHICH ARE COMING TO US THIS GLORIOUS MOTHERFUCKING WEEKEND.

FRI: 69°/44° SUNNY 'N' NICE
SAT: 64°/48° MOSTLY SUN
SUN: 70°/51° SUNNY

DENVER THE MORNINGS ARE BRISK BUT THE SKIES ARE (MOSTLY) CLEAR, COLORADO FALL IS IN FULL MOTHERFUCKING EFFECT, AND DARE I SAY IT, SWEATER WEATHER IS NIGH.

YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:
SUN: 69°/44°
MON: 64°/48°
TUE: 70°/51°
WED: 67°/51°
THU: 64°/45°
FRI: 65°/44°

IS AUTUMNAL RAIN NOT FUCKING MAJESTIC?

DENVER WE ARE THICK IN THE MIDDLE OF COLORADO'S AUTUMNAL MAJESTY! CAN I GET A HELL YEAH? CAN I GET FUCK YES? CAN I GET A MOTHERFUCKING PUMPKIN SPICED LATTE? HELL NO FUCK STARBUCKS.

LET'S SEE WHAT THE WEEKEND LOOKS LIKE:
FRI: 72°/56° PERFECT
SAT: 74°/57° PERFECT
SUN: 73°/43° PERFECT

DENVER, THIS COLD FRONT BRINGS A TOUCH O’ FALL WITH IT, BUT THEN IT’S BACK TO THE LOW 80s, SOMEHOW. IT'S WEIRD, I DON'T MAKE THE RULES, GO COMPLAIN TO THE WEATHER GODS IF U DON'T LIKE IT.

YOUR FUCKIN WEATHER:
SUN: 66° EVENING RAIN
MON: 56° EVENING RAIN
TUE: 65°
WED: 77°
THU: 82°
FRI: 78°

DENVER NGL TODAY CAN SUCK MY SWEATY NUTSACK, I KNOW IT'S FRIDAY BUT MY NUTSACK IS SO SWEATY AND IT COULD USE SOME ATTENTION.

YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:
FRI: 87°, SWEATY
SAT: 81°/47° OOOH
SUN: 69°/46° CHECK OUT THOSE OVERNIGHT LOWS IN THE 40s

DENVER, WHEN I SAID WE COULD KISS THOSE 80° HIGHS GOODBYE I WAS FUCKING WRONG. YES, IT IS FALL. BUT FALL IN NAME ONLY. SAD TO SAY THAT THE WEATHER GODS ARE ONCE AGAIN FUCKING WITH US.

YOUR FUCKING WEATHER:
SUN: 85°
MON: 80°
TUE: 82°
WED: 72° PERFECT
THU: 67° PERFECT
FRI: 73° YES

DENVER GOD BLESS THIS WEEKEND SAY GOODBYE TO THE 80 DEGREE HIGHS WE MAY SEE ONE OR TWO MORE OF THESE LIL' FUCKS BUT FOR THE MOST PART THEY GONE.

YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND:
FRI: 83°/53°
SAT: 80°/54°
SUN: 80°/53°