Matt Prindle

An insincerely smiling woman that Elon generated with his bullshit AI

Boss: You really brighten up the office

Employee:

The film The Banshees of Inisherin, which I once described as “misery olympics” is recommended in the “Family Laughs” section of a website.

My family could really use a pick-me-up, thanks for the rec!!

Jameses Corden and Fallon having a laugh together.

Tfw you’ve tied for The Very Worst for another year.

If I'm doing the math correctly, Musk's big pay packet yesterday could have made each of these now-dead people millionaires instead.
He is among the sickest men the world has ever produced.

trump just standing there while a bunch of folks engage in boisterous horseplay

my dog on the daycare webcam

(Luther Vandross voice) Here and now / I banish you all to the moon...

And this is what they call “the ole Chappaquiddick Farewell” in the Kennedy family, dude couldn’t help it, it’s in his blood.

Rest now sister. We have the kente. I'll see you in Wakanda.

I love to go to a Web-Page and fight for my very life just to view the content therein.

Right?!

Snuck out to sit in my car and feel hope for a sec don’t tell the fellas.

NFL Commissioner Curtis Sliwa

The DHS honored Dick Cheney today with a 21 Acts-of-Racist-Cruelty Salute.

Quote-skeet this with “I’m thinking about having a wrap for lunch” if you’re thinking about having a wrap for lunch.

Laura Bush eavesdrops outside George’s painting studio. She hears soft crying, followed by the sound of furious brushstrokes, then ripping canvas. “No no no NO,” she hears him say. “For him, this has to be perfect.”

Kamala’s not answering her phone. Does anyone know how she’s doing?

can’t tell if my antidepressants aren’t working or if they just weren’t built for this. like, zoloft was introduced in the 90s it barely needed to work then. if you got sad you could just buy a house.

A comic strip titled The Amazing World of Tomorrow. A food delivery robot cooler drives down a sidewalk. It crashes into a rental scooter. It backs up. It crashes into the rental scooter again. The scooter wobbles. The scooter falls to the ground as the food delivery robot backs up again. A driverless taxi crashes into both the scooter and the food delivery robot sending them flying.

The Amazing World Of Tomorrow

My mind is reeling trying to imagine the vitamins and animal effluents RFK Jr is recommending to cure Dilbert’s stage 4 cancer right now.

A beautiful white yacht with elegant lines in a marina

This boat is the marine incarnation of Allison Janney in a beautiful white suit

“Douse me, O Lord, in your healing sky diarrhea.”

Having pets is great if you love being looked at expectantly.

Columbo is coming to Mortal Kombat

Singing “Louvre jewels” to the tune of “Stool boom” from Waiting for Guffman.

On the left, the refurbished Lincoln bathroom. On the right, picture I took in Saddam Hussein's palace in Basra in 2005.

Quote tweet this with a story about riding your skeletal steed across the misty moors.

The creepy little vampire kid floating outside the window in Salem's Lot. I would beat his ass if he got it, which he would not get in, though.

"You there, boy! What day is it?"

Smiling Bela Lugosi with a cigar.

“I vaant to … know vat makes you tick!”

If you’re so insistent that men wash their bodies, why won’t you make a bathtub that looks like the cockpit of an F-18?

Mave are you kidding me, I’m literally audiobooking this right now. And it’s SO interesting.