*me looking directly into imaginary camera:
I spend an alarming amount of time pretending I am on a reality television show
28.02.2026 12:51 —
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lots of speculating over something both simple and sad; the only thing lindsey graham has ever lusted for is blood.
28.02.2026 13:23 —
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And dick. Don't forget he likes dick.
28.02.2026 13:27 —
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It appears we share a reply guy. Lol this is so embarrassing. No I insist, you take him.
26.02.2026 11:55 —
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I'm an excellent driver
I can drive you crazy in 2.5 months or less
24.02.2026 03:52 —
👍 15
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I would have drawn a penis on your locker.
23.02.2026 13:32 —
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If her name is Jennifer or Tammy, she’s going to be a fucking problem eventually
23.02.2026 18:10 —
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🔁 11
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📌 2
Saw some phallic symbols thought of you. <flirting>
23.02.2026 23:24 —
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My new year's resolution to stop making old people noises is NOT going well.
24.02.2026 02:59 —
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📌 4
Still🔥
24.02.2026 03:35 —
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💬 1
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Like stealing candy from a camel
16.01.2026 03:12 —
👍 2
🔁 5
💬 0
📌 0
Glazed ring donut. Sticky.
Eye of Saurussy after a big weekend
11.01.2026 03:29 —
👍 4
🔁 1
💬 0
📌 0
When there's just not enough middle fingers for this week
09.01.2026 21:49 —
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🔁 7
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Hear me out.. have we tried putting Trump in a pool with a shark and sinking boat about to electrocute him to see what happens?
09.01.2026 21:58 —
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🔁 3
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📌 0
we should be hibernating
10.01.2026 01:24 —
👍 19
🔁 6
💬 0
📌 0
A Christmas bukkake but it’s just me covered in icing sugar and sprinkles.
21.12.2025 19:12 —
👍 22
🔁 9
💬 0
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all i want for christmas is a forehead kiss, a fire breathing dragon, and cunnilingus
21.12.2025 19:29 —
👍 26
🔁 5
💬 1
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White Christmas is my favourite song about a bukkake.
21.12.2025 20:33 —
👍 29
🔁 16
💬 0
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Giving you the old Bluesky reach-around (reskeeting your alt & main).
21.12.2025 21:43 —
👍 11
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💬 0
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Dreadful stands out for me because it was the first thing I saw him in
24.10.2025 20:35 —
👍 1
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He was amazing in Penny Dreadful
24.10.2025 20:27 —
👍 1
🔁 1
💬 2
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What do people who post pay-walled news articles want us to do with them?
24.10.2025 11:03 —
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I'll take Gags...
24.10.2025 19:30 —
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💬 0
📌 0
Sends you an edible arrangement after we have sex
24.10.2025 15:10 —
👍 220
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I'd like to be over or under yours...
24.10.2025 19:28 —
👍 0
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Access to my energy is a privilege
Once you no longer feel it you’ll understand why
22.10.2025 15:21 —
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Another day, another FML.
22.10.2025 15:43 —
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Remember the last time the Blue Jays were in the World Series and there was a couple having sex against the glass window in one of the suites?… that was pretty cool
20.10.2025 01:03 —
👍 10
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Orgasm prioritizing radical lefty
18.10.2025 16:20 —
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