Giraud, but spookier

*desperately trying to shift focus away from the epstein files*

“you need to stop watching k-pop demon hunters and start looking for k-pop demon hunter biden’s laptop!”

taking my eel to see the squirmatologist

i bet the dinosaur bible said that its ok to eat shellfish

I don’t know how to break into the biz, but I would love to make low budget surrealist music videos for karaoke songs

no, let him cook (french toast)

Most people rejected his message. They hated frances because he told them the truth

Cat paw on top of a human hand attempting to type on a laptop

Like, we bullied the brands and the celebrities and the right-wing “thought leaders” who will never sign up and it turns out there are only 35m trans/blueanon/swer/wrestling fans out there so growth is capped—may as well go full carthago delenda est

She’s about to pull the plug on this experiment, isn’t she?

chat, is a CEO melting down in the comments for 24 hours a good economic indicator for the business?

Jay (Matt Yglesias Follower) You could try a poster’s strike. I hear that works

Okay but have you considered

IF YOU’RE IN LINE STAY IN LINE

can’t believe I thought getting caught cheating at a coldplay concert was going to be the most embarrassing thing a ceo did this year

was definitely better when we only *suspected* they found us all worthless and annoying

Facebook sent me a check for $36.73 and I’m going to spend it all on mana potions

Never forget we had to beg them for months to get rid of the hard-r

Neels: Yeah but a customer threatening to cancel their service usually gets a couple things accomplished. C'mon, Jay. Shame on you. Jay (Matt Yglesias Follower): Are you paying us? Where?

lol. lmao even

let’s roll it all the way back to summer ‘23 vibes so our new user base can really hit those hard r’s

cooked

“our upcoming healthy discourse project”

ngl “our upcoming healthy discourse project” has a threatening aura

“Paul’s just like us!” No mfer he views all of us at the thing that’s holding them back from becoming the next threads

I will 🫂

oh you have minute maid at your house? it’ll take longer than that

Classic Sid

how can you eat waffles at a time like this? you'll ruin your dinner

I mean of course, but a good french toast beats all

she did!

Welcome to momjobs dot com—we’re hiring!

Unlike your mom, we won’t make you go home for the holidays!

Like your mom, we’re desperate to have three openings filled!

they’re only your friends if you’re slop