Cody Webb

I just realized I don’t have special interests like most autistic people.

I have special hatreds.

If you bring up millennial-core home design I will rant for 30 fucking minutes

proudly using chat gpt has the same energy as earnestly wanting to be a cop

Tense 😬

And the Earth is flat as you approach the speed of light!

ALL HAIL POPE GRITTY

Some people age like a fine wine. Me?

I age like a grape that fell out of a lunchbox in a beach parking lot

OR JUST NOT FUCKING USE IT EVER

Based on my knowledge of The Santa Clause (1994), I think JD Vance becomes the new Pope

The opposite of a “gold star lesbian” should be called a “Purple Heart Lesbian”

With RFK Jr. spreading misinformation and fear around autism it’s important that we don’t fight back with aspi/autistic supremacy.

What do I know about politics?

Bruh, do you have ANY idea how many towns I have been designated the mayor of after having JUST stepped off the train/bus? Do you know ANYTHING about the bells I’ve raised to construct this bench?

A tricky thing about modern society is that no one has any idea when they don’t die.

Like, the number of lives saved by controlling air pollution in America is probably over 200,000 per year, but the number of people who think their life was saved by controlling air pollution is zero.

Most infighting on the left in the US is simply due to the US government spending a century shooting any leftist leader in the head and strangling every organization with.

You've never seen a healthy, thriving leftist movement in the US, a Pinkerton put a bullet in its head a century ago

All Time Low is here???

Trumpists foolishly suggest banning all imports to cause massive economic growth in the long term.

This is why North Korea has the world's leading economy

Legendary Tee K.O. Round

my new theory is that once you have a certain amount of money and wealth you start to go crazy and detach from reality. that number is different for everyone. for me it's $20

Hey folks,

I’m preparing to update my risk assessment map and I am including a new factor: hospitals complying with anti-trans EOs and whether AGs are putting pressure to stop that.

If your hospital system is complying with anti-trans EOs and hasn’t reversed course, let me know here or in DM.

*My partner fucks up*

Me: Hey. It’s okay. We all make mistakes. I love you no matter what

*I fuck up*

Me: Well clearly they’re going to divorce me for this. I dropped a piece of paper on the ground. I do not deserve love

I think I’m a much better singer than I am a comedian

But I don’t know what to do about that other than go to karaoke and make everyone hate me

He’s like if Rasputin and Henry Ford were one guy #elon #elonmusk #history #russianrevolution #comedy #rant

People in movies are always giving somebody a duffel bag full of money and then not getting the bag back. I'm not made of duffel bags at least bring the last one back empty and we'll swap.

REPLACE CHUCK SCHUMER WITH A HAND VACUUM.

HAND VAC IS CHEAPER AND ONLY SUCKS WHEN IT’S TURNED ON INSTEAD OF ALL THE FUCKING TIME LIKE CHUCK SCHUMER.

Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage

Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage

My hungry ass could not be a particle physicist

Wait the crazy religion they made up for Conclave is actually real???

The hit 2013 song “Get Lucky”, but instead of trying to meet a stranger at the club to have sex with, it’s a guy who’s been up for 46 straight hours playing scratch-offs