Stu's Dream Journal

My friends take us hiking to the top of Devil's Tower. On the drive over, I notice that we're in a rocky desert above the sun. Everything below us is cast in shadows, but we're not. I see the ruins of an ancient temple, and a tribe of nomads who harvest wheels of soft cheese from the soil

A war breaks down among factions of employees at Lowe's, maybe over the quality of scones at Taco Bell. We're all whipping merchandise like lamps and power tools at each other across two stories. No one is hurt, and eventually we reach a ceasefire and begin peace talks

I'm sitting at the counter of a little diner. Paul Reubens is serving big pieces of key lime pie to the cast of his new show. He gives one to me even though I only had a small part, and his kindness makes me weep uncontrollably

I'm driving down a country road and see a flash of green over the horizon. I pull over and see a huge crowd of people gathered in a dark amphitheatre basking in the waving green glow of the northern lights

I'm now in a lush meadow watching Frasier, I try to run to get a soda before the commercial ends. I run through the meadow, which turns into a cemetery. There's a headstone commemorating a playground that was erected there in 2009, and it thanks DJ BLEEZY for playing the opening ceremony

I'm in Jessica's garage looking for a vacuum and a Dr Pepper, but her neighbor with a deformed hand is in there. He says he's about to play in a "nookah" band, he pulls up a clip and I'm not really into it.

I'm driving on a mountain road. Two men on crutches try to cross. The road winds through a narrow valley between two flat, orange cliffs. It's a national park, and the road has vents filled with ice, it's very refreshing. I look in a vending machine for pain relievers, but end up in a grocery store

I'm on a long boardwalk late at night watching a silent movie with an old couple I saw on Blind Date. We see the title cards were written by W.M. McClaskin, and we all agree he wrote the best title cards

My parents are looking at a new house out in the country with a massive, beautiful backyard by a lake. We explore the basement and find the remnants of a barber shop, then realize it leads into a giant hardware store called Cuthland's. I find a quarter with a picture of FDR that says BLOOPY BOY

The B-52s stop by my parents' house for an impromptu show. I let them borrow some of my keyboards, including a little harpsichord built into a tiny table. I go to the garage for a rootbeer but there's a complicated series of doors I need to open that prevents this. I go look for a record instead

I keep hearing a loud breathing sound coming from somewhere in my notebook. I flip through the pages, desperate to make it stop but I can't find the source. When I wake up I realize I was hearing and getting annoyed by my own breathing

I'm watching an infomercial for some kind of food processor. A woman put an entire cooked lobster into a blender, shell and all

Louie first uses the watch for hijinks, but then finds cryptic messages around town, leading him to investigate the disappearance of his uncle (Jason Alexander). We discover that he's become permanently invisble and stuck 40' in the air. Smashmouth's song "Roger Wrist Solution" was a minor hit

I hear a song from Smashmouth's OST to the 2002 Disney Channel film ROGER THAT. The film follows Louie Roger (Frankie Muniz) who has his life turned upside down after finding a magic watch invented by his uncle called the "Roger Wrist Solution," which grants him the powers of flight and invisibility

I'm watching a later episode of Full House. Joey is hosting a game show called MEET A GRAPE, Jesse comes out dressed like a bunch of grapes. I walk around my hometown with Dave Coulier and we talk about ideas for the show. I forgot that Jodie Sweetin lives her too and works in a concession stand

I'm in the lobby of a cinema talking with the screenwriter of the spy thriller BORGO (1981). She is very funny and has some great insights into the 2005 War of the Worlds. I swing around the railings in the theater, then order a ticket for BORGO. The cashier gives me like 90 coins in change

My upstairs bedroom has flooded waist-high with teal green water. I'm trying to walk on the furniture but it keeps floating away. On the street outside I pass a group of llamas in the front yard and moo to them. They moo back, sarcastically. They remind me of old women

I'm part of a community art project. There are sheets of photosensitive cloth lying on the floor that I accidentally ruin by exposing to light. Some images are captured on the cloth and it seems salvageable but I'm still embarrassed

I'm looking for my truck out in the woods. I climb down a vine into a grotto and find a cobwebbed cave. I climb through a narrow passage lined with stone teeth and enter a barren studio apartment. It belonged to a naturalist who used to come here eight times a year

A friend posts a picture of his bedroom. Outside the window, I see a row of large brick spheres on pillars lining the road of the apartment complex. I explore the winding brick structure and find myself atop an ornate ivory cathedral. He has such a lovely home

I'm working in a sandwich shop/bar/comic store. I'm trying to get to the bathroom upstairs but a guy wants to show me his new comic book that doesn't come out for a month. I don't know anything about comics but we're all friendly

Watching some movie where Laura Dern is driving a young lady around the country but it's not sure if she's trustworthy. She takes the girl to this shrine in the middle of a cornfield to Laura's eight miscarriages. She pulls a tylenol through eight holes on a picnic table. I start weeping

I'm sleeping in a big bed with my parents. My dad has two ventriloquist puppets. Only one of them can close its eyes, the other one is looking right at me

Walters tells me he's gonna be Owlman for Halloween. I don't know who Owlman is but he doesn't want me to forget

My dad and I look out the window and see a new type of bird in the sideyard. They're made of thick, pinkish orange tarn and have big button eyes. We don't remember what they're called

I end up in the Blueberry Pie district of Toronto, which has a bustling sort of embassy set up where blueberry pie vendors from all over the world sell ingredients and pie crusts and imported whipped cream

I'm in a bathroom that was designed for ducks and other small alien aquatic creatures. A sinister wealthy baron expresses interest in buying this house, and I've eaten a lot of the old mints from his broken glass jar

I'm watching and appearing in a movie about a man trying to do a ritual in the cemetery by marrying two of the bodies. I hide on a soft hill outside and run through my sinister uncle's backyard, but get trapped in the mazelike sidewalk

Jessica drives me down to a pier and we get on a train filled with hundreds of identically dressed anime cosplayers

I wake up and find that I've recorded one of my dreams on a Nintendo DS. In it, I go down the hall to my elderly neighbor Mrs. Spandelos' room and record a rap song