Jaime Sokolowski

Reason #97 why my kids are feral goblins. T handed me a cup of water to drink, which was nice. Raising it to my mouth to drink the water looked murky and suspicious. Investigators found it was full of lemon juice and he wanted to prank me.

Reason #96 why my kids are feral goblins. K wanted a tiered Andes cake for her birthday. The boys and I made it over the weekend and saved it for today. Yesterday I found this.

Yo! Chill the F out Lego!

All fair of course but still.

Poor kim

A pic of kids sunglasses in a refrigerator next to the milk.

Reason #95 why my kids are feral goblins. When I found these in the fridge, like other toys, I asked him not to put non-food items into it.

T: “I have to keep them cool tho!”

Perfection. No notes.

A block of Cotswold cheese from England. The label reads in part “A creamy double glouchester cheese with flavors of chive and onion”

Reason #94 why my kids are feral goblins.

L: “I don’t like this cheese”
Me: “Are you kidding this stuff is so good it’s next level!”
L: “can I try first level?”

Hot take: The rapture did happen but you are way less pure than you thought, and are stuck here with the rest of us.

This is what we were warning about before the election, what we said were Project 2025’s stated goals. But even knowing that, for simply stating “I’m transgender” landing me in prison for 20 years? And y’all wonder why transgender people would be scared to come out. America, I don’t recognize you.

Me every day lol

That whole movie felt like it was speaking at so many levels to me but that line has niggled my brain too.

Reason #93 why my kids are feral goblins.
T:Why’s there jelly?
K:you said you wanted the jelly dad made
T:maybe you imagined it
K:Don’t gaslight me.
Me:I heard you too
T maybe you imagine it too.

This kid y’all.

Reason #92 why my kids are feral goblins. Kk bought a treat during our last grocery run but T put it right away. T had put the treat, and only the treat, away in the “snack cabinet” hidden behind the coffee and cereal so no one else would find it. He just wanted his cut.

Purple kinetic sand in a cake pan in the oven

Reason #91 why my kids are feral goblins. Sometimes their imagination play involves making “cake” with their kinetic sand and my real oven and pan. I left in the oven to humor them and forget it’s there, then preheat the oven for pizza night. Which smokes and stinks worse than burnt toast.

Reason #90 why preschoolers are feral goblins. Sometimes you open your phone to find random texts they sent people like my mother in law or the neighbor. I promise it’s not a stroke or aphasia. Just a texting goblin.

Reason #89 Why preschoolers are feral goblins. T has been playing “restaurant” for six months now off and on. After a recent shopping trip I couldn’t understand why the snacks and cereal disappeared so quickly. Went in his room and found his “restaurant supplies” in the “back room”

Reason #88 why preschoolers are feral goblins. Sometimes they ask for eggs in the morning for breakfast. When you turn around to get them butter for the toast they then add cheesy puffs to their eggs. And T is now eating them with the eggs using his fork bc manners.

Reason #87 why preschoolers are feral goblins. T said, this looks like a butt, I don’t wanna eat a butt. I guess it’s a step up from last years FG post where he decided it was a butt and he was goi g to eat it anyways? This kid cracks me up.

Reason #85 and 86 why preschoolers are feral goblins. Their imagination play is something else. T wanted to play with his kitchen but first had to fix it. He was hammering it at first. I came back later to his more elaborate set up.

Reason #84 why preschoolers are feral goblins. T really like my chicken tinga tacos tonight, and said I should get paid to make food this good. He brought my $3 from his allowance (earner a quarter at time) and said thank you for the good food. Y’all. My heart is so full

Reason #83 why preschoolers are feral goblins. I was so shocked by how much mustard T put on his hot dog I took one pic for this and when I looked away he added the ketchup. And yes he ate most of what he put out there.

Reason #82 why preschoolers are feral goblins. We went to Chipotle today for lunch. They got mandarin oranges with lunch.
T: Do the also serve apple slices here?
Me: nope just the oranges.
T: What!? That’s wild!!

😂😂😂

Reason #81 why preschoolers are feral goblins. They are wicked smart. At my FIL’s and he hands T a ball hitch, washer, and nut and said “Here put these together”. T has never seen these things before and still correctly put them together. I’m gobsmacked. Consider my gobs smacked.

Reason #80 why preschoolers are feral goblins. T woke up and told me he would make breakfast for his brother this morning. This is what he came up with. A plus for healthy food I guess?

A text that says Hi <hand wave emoji> mom I love you <kissy face emoji>

Reason #79 why preschoolers are feral goblins. My 6 yr old wanted to text mom, who is away on a sister-cation. He sent this.
Me: You used emoji?!? What? How?
L: Yeah, I had to.

My baby is growing up so fast!!

Cute!

T: “ooo you said a bad word!”
Me: “So?”
T: “So now you can play with my bomb.”
Me: “I’m not getting one.”
T: “Ah man!”

This kid is… a lot sometimes.

Reason #78 why preschoolers are feral goblins. Tonight, watching Ritchie Rich:
T: I want TNT!
Me <cooking>: “You want what!?”
T: “A bomb, can you get me one?”
Me: “No!”
T: <whiny voice> “Please, you can get it at the store!”
Me: “No! I’m not buying you.. why am I arguing, this is so dumb.”