Pretzelcoatl

You know what, you've sold me. You can have the ones ive denied myself through childlessness

I appreciate my cat's commitment to pretending to poo when I do, but I got crohn's disease, girl. If you were really going that often, it would be a medical problem and we'd be dragging you to the vet. It's ok just to hang out

For example, that guy in the shop with the extra meat. I appreciate it, but that means you stored information relating to my identity and disposition for weeks. Creepy. Knocked it off.

It should be illegal to perceive and record information about me. I see you stuffing your greedy little minds with facts and assumptions and supposition. Stop it. You are to immediately forget having perceived me when I exit your field of view.

A tabby cat drinks from the dog's water dish in a muddy hardwood floor.

Dog water thief caught in the act! Brazen daylight roberry!

There's a dude who looks exactly like Dickie Bennet at the Rutters and he always gives me free double meat and double cheese. Anyway, that guy is my best friend

An Australian shepherd walks ahead of me in a misty young forest along a trail

An Australian shepherd stands in fallen pine needs in the woods along the bank of a stream. He is damp.

A tired Australian shepherd sits on the bank of a stream among mossy tree trunks in a young pine forest

An Australian shepherd sits posing among the mountain laurel on the bank of a stream in the woods

Fog walk with the dog

You just tried to move your hair. Roll a d6 to see if you fast forward, rewind, volume up, volume down, pause, or perform the *mystery function* that beeps but apparently does nothing

God i wish these headphones just had fucking buttons instead of a mysterious pad that does one of 5 functions at random when you accidentally touch it

Peritas has won. He gets a training treat quartered and mixed into his breakfast now so he eats in the morning and all at once

"Retrieving your loyalty data" I'm going to burn your data centers down

The fucking vet uses this fucking app owned by the corporation that owns them and it's trash and I hate it and I just want to order my fucking tick and worm meds

New If Books Could Kill!

You can't smoke weed anywhere you can't smoke a cigarette, though, so it has to be exactly as relevant, right?

A red merle Australian shepherd with one blue and one brown eye lies on a black couch using a rectangular yellow pillow to rest his precious head.

Sweet boy

That is a profoundly rectangular man

A red merle Australian shepherd lies on his side on a black couch, looking over his shoulder as my purple clad arm reaches between his front legs for a chest rub

Sup

He wants a realistic, down to eath show swarming with magic robots

Memento hikikomori

Having used a cross country ski machine, I would rather die in a hole in the snow trying to walk, thank you.

Also, I'm sure it's been observed before, but these pokemon are getting fucking dumb. Why did I just get a card called dachshund that's a dachshund?

I would play the pokemon card game on android if they didn't put every single thing behind 3 menus that each take 14 seconds to load

I dunno, everything sucks but the dog let me fully wrap my arms around him and kiss the top of his head for a while in bed this morning and that's been carrying me

Say what you will about the wisdom of this, but the best dentist I ever had was the one where you could slip the receptionist 5 bucks and she'd give you a Halcion

Just an ostensible expert pretending to think that autism existing on a spectrum means everyone is on it. Shes doing this because she's a terrified and wants to force her work (that is, the lives and identities of autistic people) back into an easy binary of disorder and order, well and unwell.

If I was any other country in the world and I'd watched the US target two heads of state unprovoked, I'd be thinking "Oh, the only way anyone can be safe is to end the United States of America"

A mackerel tabby cat curls on my belly with her feet against my hand and head against my arm. I am under and she is on top of a yellow blanket

Enjoying the Diablo ii remake. Would not have paid my own money for it. Path of Exile really did a great job making this a good game

I got targeted with recruitment calls constantly for a few years after high-school, I guess because graduates of schools run by headline fundamentalists are pre-brainwashed. I never had to use my morals though, cause I'm chronically ill. Still had to tell them that over and over for a few years

I was making weird noises while I walk around my house and I think I figured out how to throat sing? When I shaped my mouth right I was getting chirps and short whistles faintly