Snarky Robot

“They used the slop factory that enriches technofascists to make a fake picture about oil prices but it’s okay because it’s sarcasm” may be one of the dumbest arguments I’ve ever heard, and that’s before we get to the fact that you don’t even seem to know what sarcasm is.

Slop

That’s what’s so great about it! I realized I didn’t need to say anything and by the time I discarded my draft, you’d already proven me correct. It’s really rewarding to get reminded I don’t always need to try to be clever in public.

It actually feels really rewarding to write a comment, and then deleting it because you figure “yeah this person knows what I’m about to say, the joke’s kinda obvious” and deleting the comment only to come back and see the person go “yeah no shit, [summary of comment you deleted]”.

+1 dodged bullet

scribbly jabba the hutt with a lollipop

elden ring

IM CRYING youraislopbores.me

Beginning to sound this went down exactly like how I do mindfulness exercises before I do something stressful.

What I’m saying is.. it was premeditated.

It’s like some of the crap that Disney and others have let slide out, with special effects being done on the cheap and in a hurry, so it all ends up looking distractingly off.

Getting it more “accurate” doesn’t make the impression that much better and it very much does not make the jokes funny.

There are talented impressionists who can do a set while wearing baggy jeans, an Aqua concert shirt with a mustard stain on it, and a faded trucker hat and still make you see anyone from a rich, fancy congressman to famous athletes to a horny Midwestern housewife.

On the other hand…there’s this.

dudes rock

Books not gonna be cooked so much as flambéd.

Yet another reason that it was dumb for other companies to step back from EVs. Right now there is ONE major player in that space and the guy in charge of that company is telling everyone how much he doesn’t want to make cars anymore. Make your move now!

We wargamed the closing of the Straight of Hormuz decades ago. We were on alert when we navigated those waters. Because that shit is an obvious point of leverage for them and an obvious point of weakness for the US.

Gonna be real fun watching the daily cost of war rise as we burn through jet fuel.

I think any manufacturer that stepped back from BEVs and hybrids was a fool. How long did Tesla lose money for? Yes, they needed the free money from carbon credits, but that’s why you also sell regular cars. To fund the future.

Just a tremendous failure all around.
But execs should’ve been smarter.

In very short order, Trump has killed EV credits, randomly spiked tariffs putting a major bind on manufacturers (the result of which is companies “rethinking” their EV plans and hiking prices), and started a war with no forethought, likely leading to a massive rise in gas prices AND in EV prices.

Getting rid of bullying seemed like a smart idea, but if people like you are the result, I think we went too far.

I would like one (1) company to not be ginormous fucking idiots when it comes to appeasing shitty authoritarians.

Now I gotta extract all my shit from your services. Goodbye

*Anywayne

“You could tell how good the idea was because he couldn’t stop fidgeting when he was telling us about it and his pupils were HUGE. I don’t even know where he comes up with these awesome ideas. He even laid out a great plan to change the government of Iran to some sort of controlled democracy. Wild.”

“Elon Musk came up with this idea of how to insert our special forces. We just send them to space on his rockets, then drop them into Iran in small reentry pods. Then we send down more guns and supplies that way, so we don’t have to think about logistics while they spread democracy. He’s a genius.”

6 months from now, wary of the rapidly rise of the cost of the war, the Pentagon secretly hires a team of ventriloquists and puppeteers. Hegseth’s makeup artist is reassigned to the combat theater.

Everyone knows that racism is like a light switch. Some people are racist, others are not, and there is no in-between. The same is obviously true of antisemitism.

Of course, Graham Platner, who you’ve proven once and for all cannot possibly be antisemitic because he married a Jewish woman, is a shitty choice for many other reasons:

I mean, my buddy’s dad dropped the n-word like crazy when he was drunk. He’d tell us all about how lazy and dangerous black people were, even when our black friend was there. But he wound up dating a black woman for several years, proving once and for all that he was never a racist a day in his life

It’d be a shame for this totally unarguable argument if it was a well known trope that racists can and do make exceptions for individuals of a given race while still being racists. Because then it would just be smarmy and uninteresting. A truly horrendous wet fart of an idea.

Good for you.

I’d be embarrassed to say some dumb shit like “Ukraine can’t have autonomy to join organizations because it might make Russia scared like a tiny chubby baby”, but I’m glad someone knows how soft as shit the Russian government is and is happy to tell everyone what little boys they are.

Also a fun account to follow to see places that use that format for their headlines, if you prefer to avoid them. @betteridgeslaw.bsky.social

Listen, we all roll a one on our speech checks sometimes.

Tesla may be the first to create a humanoid body for the AGI, but Taco Bell will be the first to give it a functioning biological body that can be harvested for your tacos and served with a 12 gallon bucket of nacho cheese flavored Mountain Dew.

Drink the ultra slurp juice, nerds. $YUM to the moon.

Being able to complain about the Dunks is part of the Dunks experience that makes you go to Dunks.

Doomscrolling is the weaponization of literacy