Jennifer Udden

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Dispatches from MN: it's getting really hard, guys. The media has left, the donations are drying up, and ICE is still here kidnapping people. It's hard not to be resentful that other people have the option of setting this aside for.other things.

The staggeringly fabulous cover for CE Murphy's upcoming BONE & BLOOD, a retelling of "Snow White, Rose Red" features two women standing back to back: one is garbed all in blood red, with dark red hair and a black mask; the other wears flowing white, with wheat-pale hair and a glittering mask. Cover art & design by Ravven. Preorder at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DXFPLQWY/?tag=mizkit-20 The next image is a parchment-colored paper with golden roses along one side, and the first part of the text reads: There is a story of a widow woman and her two daughters, Snow White and Rose Red, who were the most perfect and darling little girls who had ever lived. This is not—quite—that story. In time, people will lose their fear of the forests, but this is not yet that time; this is not yet that place. Not with the enchanted Beast at its heart still living there; not with that heart being the forest itself, embodied, living, aware. But not aware enough for old Widow Adele, who is only called old because she is a widow, and who is only a widow because something had to be done about her husband. The living forest did nothing, but the forest had a sister, white-haired and jewel-eyed, who lived in the village, and who was known to be a witch. The witch was wedded to Lucinda, a good girl, and so when the Widow Adele could bear her husband no longer, she spoke to Lucy, and in a little while the witch, called Pearl, came to visit. He would forbid the witch's presence in their home; he would forbid anyone's presence, though better to have visitors than let Adele go into the village. Within the shadows of their dark little cottage, bruises could not easily be seen, and broken bones could be blamed on uneven floors or a clumsy woman leaving the broom where she oughtn't.

A page of teaser text, framed by golden roses. The remainder of the text, which begins on the previous image, reads: But a witch could see what a man might not. Even in the dim light that shone through the cottage's shuttered windows, the witch's eyes glittered dangerous green and her flawless mouth curved a faultless, merciless smile. "You have no children," Pearl said. Hope fired in Adele's heart, burning her hollow as she nodded, and the fire did not bank when regret twisted Pearl's lips. "I'm sorry. A child is beyond my power. But a tea to increase your husband's vigor is within it." Adele stared, bleak and aching. "He doesn't lack vigor, lady." "No," Pearl replied, gently now, and gentleness from her icy pale gaze was like a knife cutting deep, leaving no mark. "No, I can see he doesn't. But the tea will increase it to apoplexy." She passed her hand across the rough-cut kitchen table, leaving a packet behind. "It tastes of blackberry, and needs a few drops of honey to sweeten it enough for him to drink it all at once. It will be most potent for the next few days, so I wouldn't waste any time." She rose, all languid grace, and her crossing of the threshold was like the moon's light fading, leaving Adele in darkness. Adele jerked to her feet, the packet clutched against her chest as she bolted for the door and cried, "Witch!" The witch turned back, white eyebrows lifted, and Adele faltered apologetically. "Pearl." The name was hardly a whisper, the only kind of forgiveness she dared ask for. Pearl waited, and Adele gathered her courage. "The tea. Is it magic?" "No, my dear," Pearl said, still gently. "It's poison."

BONE & BLOOD, my latest retold fairy tale, will be available in just a few weeks! Preorder at www.amazon.com/dp/B0DXFPLQW...

The alt text for the teaser text image is spread across both images bc it was too long for just one. Sorry about that! <3 #booksky #preorders #fantasy #romance #FairyTales

are you kidding me

Two supposed enemy bakers, one classically French, one determinedly gluten-free, hide their secret relationship.

Wheated Rivalry.

The big tech founder whose 417-foot, $500 million superyacht needs a 256-foot, $75 million superyacht to "shadow" it -- because the bigger yacht lacks a helipad -- had to cut his paper's newsroom almost in half, for reasons

we said all along that they wanted Gawker dead not because we embarrassed a pro wrestler but because the Epstein story is one Gawker was covering a decade before most other people caught up & was just one of many stories exposing powerful people and their misdeeds

Bilbo looking at his phone top on bottom is ChatGPT After all, why not? Why shouldn't I keep it? You're absolutely right — you found it, it's been with you a long while, and it's only natural to feel fond of something that's served you so well, especially when someone like Gandalf suddenly seems to want it for himself.

“Someone will play a sick historical figure and win an award that Fiennes deserves much more; I think it is in its way one of the best movie performances I’ve seen.”

Looking forward to being big mad this time next year when the 2027 Oscar noms come out and Fiennes isn’t there.

yes correct

listening to a podcast interview with a canadian hockey player, one of the most inexpressive and monotone-voiced demographics on earth, and recalling again the absurdity of this complaint.

I've come to realize that a lot of people like him because he tells them it's OK to not have any values either. Values require effort. MAGA is about effortless decadence, sit in your chair and get mad at computer with the rest of us, it's great.

the longest YEAH BOIIIIIII

The USPS posting a NINE BILLION DOLLAR LOSS!!! sounds terrible. Certainly worse than if you said "USPS costs thirty dollars per person per year" even though that means the same thing and more accurately describes a government service

a page with a scene from Stoppard’s The Real Thing: “Henry: Henry Shut up and listen. This thing here, which loo like a wooden club, is actually several pieces of particular wood cunningly put together in a certain way so that the whole thing is sprung, like a dance floor. It's for hitting cricket balls with. If you get it right, the cricket ball will travel two hundred yards in four seconds, and all you've done is give it a knock like knocking the top off a bottle of stout, and it makes a noise like a trout taking a fly... (He clucks his tongue to make the noise.) What we're trying to do is to write cricket bats, so that when we throw up an idea and give it a little knock, it might... travel…(He clucks his tongue again and picks up the script.) Now, what we've got here is a lump of wood of roughly the same shape trying to be a cricket bat, and if you hit a ball with it, the ball will travel about ten feet and you will drop the bat and dance about…”

the next page with the rest of the speech: “…shouting 'Ouch!' with your hands stuck into your armpits. (indicating the cricket bat) This isn't better because someone says it's better, or because there's a conspiracy by the MCC to keep cudgels out of Lords. It's better because it's better. You don't believe me, so I suggest you go out to bat with this and see how you on. You're a strange boy, Billy, how old are you? ‘Twenty, but I've lived more than you'll ever live.’ Ooh, ouch!”

I’m so sorry but it’s kind of incredible that this particular stupid book came out the same week people happen to have been posting the cricket bat speech all over social media

hell yeah

Reposting with Alt text (this one is too good to miss!)

This update includes information you may find upsetting. Please take care when reading. From today, it is with a heavy heart that we announce trans girls will no longer be able to join Girlguiding. This is a decision we would have preferred not to make, and we know that this may be upsetting for members of our community. There will be no immediate changes for current young members, but more information will be shared soon. Most adult roles - including unit helpers, district helpers and administrative support - are already open to all, so we are confident that no volunteers will have to leave the organisation. Girlguiding believes strongly in inclusion, and we will continue to support young people and adults in marginalised groups. Over the next few months, we will explore opportunities to champion this value and actively support young people who need us. We stand in solidarity with trans girls and women.

i hope every single person who still buys harry potter merch or engages with that franchise is happy that they're literally making girl guides cry

girl guides uk have been forced very much against their will to exclude trans girls. full statement is here: www.girlguiding.org.uk/information-...

The very cute cover to Murphy Lawless's A CHRISTMAS LIKE NO OTTER features a golden otter in silhouette against a dark green background. Hearts, sparkling diamonds, and a variety of Christmas things—holly, candy canes, gifts, etc—surround the title. There's a silhouetted image of a small town with a big gazebo to one side, and the series title, Virtue Shifters, is featured above the gazebo. Cover art and design by Indigo Chick Designs.

I've been remiss in promoting this, but there are NINE Zoe Chant books free through today!

www.zoechant.com/thankfulfors... for all of 'em

www.amazon.com/dp/B09MGD2DR... for mine, A CHRISTMAS LIKE NO OTTER :)

howling

just how fuckin bad are the rest of those files

stupid dipshit sitting at a table with cuomo signs on it holding his phone looking like he's going to barf

so many good pictures out there

"Curtis Sliwa has a mixed record with matzoh balls" is definitely sending me

"I DON'T NEED YOU TO FUCKING REWRITE WHAT I'VE JUST WRITTEN!"

Again, the fact he is semi useful sometimes about Trump when another person writes his material does not mean he deserves a “reward”

This unrepentant obvious oil slick is a triangulating transphobic fool.

HIT HIM AGAIN, ZOHRAN.

None of this would be happening if I had an enormous cursed sword

Read an Excerpt From Dead & Breakfast by Kat Hillis and Rosiee Thor - Reactor The new vampires in town are sinking their teeth into solving a murder…

Look just because the major was found dead with two puncture holes in his neck does NOT mean the vampires have anything to do with it.

We're delighted to share an excerpt from Dead & Breakfast by @kathillisauthor.bsky.social and @rosieethor.bsky.social!

reactormag.com/excerpts-dea...

theeblackgypsy 1d Hot take: as an extremely self aware person I don't benefit from therapy. dril 17h i produce my own therapy by thinking really hard using my 145 iq

If I posted something so dumb that Dril himself showed up in my comments to dunk on me, I would simply walk directly into the sea