fernfronds 🌿🏳️‍🌈🏴‍☠️

and the chicken’s name is goofus doofus?? incredible. i wonder how long it’ll take until someone gets a goofus doofus tattoo, i feel like it’s bound to happen

PHENOMENAL thank you for this most important update

i have had absolutely zero time or bandwidth to hang out over here with all you gay pirates and i miss it and i miss you and i’ve got some big fomo about it. i haven’t even opened the auction page!! 😢😭

Not today Satan 😘🖤🦄

also hey wtf is up with feeling pain in dreams, i thought that wasn’t supposed to be possible

“oops, i’m up too late, i think ill try to sleep without having dimension 20 on in the background.”

*proceeds to have immediate dreams of a dog that looked like my childhood dog attack me and then two large, wild cats attack me*

*turns on d20 after ripping myself out of sleep somehow*

i will never understand it

Chin up sluts 💜✊🏻

🫂 🫂 🫂

it looks amazing!!

i was gonna say this is the most non-mercury retrograde that’s ever mercury retrograded, but i guess it’s actually mercury retrograding, just overwhelmingly in my favor!!

AND GET THIS!!! the gym membership i got 2mo ago but only started using this week? they’re resetting the clock on my 6mo membership bc there’s some weird hiccup in their system and my membership didn’t actually exist in it for some reason. i thought i had wasted two months but NOPE!! got ‘em back!

THANK YOU IT WORKED THEY ARE FIXING MY ENGINE UNDER WARRANTY 😭😭😭😭😭

frankly jealous of people who were able to move on to other fandoms i'm gonna be a senile old lady talking about the love of my life and it's a mildly successful gay pirate show

i am so, so very sorry to report that what they say about exercise’s benefits to things like mental wellbeing and overall energy and sleep are, seemingly, true 😔

made myself a google form to fill out each time i go so i can track routines and progress because if there’s one way i can make this more likely to stick it’s by collecting data for the prospect of a pretty spreadsheet

I WENT TO THE GYM TODAY. I GOT MY MEMBERSHIP TWO MONTHS AGO. PLEASE CLAP.

“i do really need to get some work done this week despite being off, i’ll just go in to work for a couple hours.”

*goes into work for 6 hours, comes home, works for another 4.5 hours, and still isn’t done the one task that needs doing* 🙃

have i mentioned lately that i fucking hate it here?

every DAY this goddamn bridgerton

fucking incredible

WOOHOO, THERAPIST-APPROVED!!

it still counts if i put on gym clothes but didnt actually go to the gym, right? they’ve been in the gym bag for like two months, they made progress! that’s gotta count for something!!

woohoo, proud of you!

alright y’all, i need some good car situation vibes this week, please send thoughts of warranty claim approvals my way!!

here are 15 things you can do at the same time! relax, take a load off, chill, meditate, breathe, daydream, lie down, loosen up, put your feet up, unwind, hang out, simmer down, lounge, dillydally, & last but not least, rebuke the pressures of capitalism to be productive & embrace rest as protest!!

😭😭😭

by you, i hope! (i realized after the fact that it sounded like i was asking you to buy it for me, but i meant it so that you could have it in all its glory!)

i will never understand people like that

hell, i’ll give you the $30 to get it, that’s too good to pass up!

a screenshot of a instagram post originally from @choiwonder that alex sherman retweeted. the photo is of alex, alyssa, and a third person (presumably the one who posted the pic) that has an arrow pointing to alyssa’s stomach and some text that says “there’s a bay bay in there!”

omg alex and alyssa pregnancy announcement on ig!! 🥰