Robert ToTeras

My fellow US satirists, now is the time to do your thing.

Self-censoring is “obeying in advance.”

Forget your career—draw blood

Tear down these crooks & fools

Whether you’re writing for Colbert or doing one night in some black box over a bowling alley, NOW is the time to

LET IT RIP!!!!

This article makes me want to start a think tank which “explores” if two different AI chatbots could fall in love. Later down the line I could swim in a massive pool of series B funding while an easy to fool NYT tech writer boosts my bullshit.

CEOs upset about Trump’s tariffs sound like mob bosses shouting “I thought we had a deal!” at the Joker.

This is Utah in case anyone’s wondering how pissed off people are. I have never seen anything like this.

We literally just want to be paid equally and not have our healthcare decisions made by the Supreme Court. Happy International Women's Day.

Photo of a bald eagle under the headline "Bald eagle in Massachusetts euthanized after testing positive for bird flu"

Allegory alert!

Whole Foods, which is owned by notorious union-buster Amazon, is arguing that Trump's dismantling of the NLRB means the company doesn't have to recognize a newly unionized store in Philadelphia.

Looks like Jeff Bezos's investment in Trump is paying off.

No. Though he’s the richest person in the world, he doesn’t actually have the money. Tik Tok is actually successful (unlike Twitter). He’s also lost a ton of money (for himself and his partners) on Twitter. He’s also having issues with Tesla, which has seen a significant drop in revenue.

Not only rejected by his peers, but by his PARENTS as well.

I really don’t see how chasing the Duke boys for years qualifies this guy to run the IRS.

Grew up in that area - a few scenes show Commodore Barry Bridge, 6 blocks from my childhood home. One of the most authentic things about the show is shortening Marianne to Mare. Everyone I knew named Mary or Marianne was called Mare. Least authentic thing is the lack of racism. Area is VERY racist.

Way back when I did this a few times in the middle of the night in my Mom’s car, driving from 110th & Cathedral Parkway all the way east to the FDR - while making all the lights.

OMG!

Bob barker, longtime price is right host and animal rights activist, dies aged 99

he got as close as he could without going over

I don’t particularly like mug shots because I feel like they’re an antiquated totem of public shame meant to imply guilt… But as a person who spent every second of the 1990s as an NYC resident, I can’t describe the pure pleasure I feel in seeing this photo.

Opinion | The Office I Left Giuliani (Published 2007) Rudolph W. Giuliani’s claim to have turned around the Manhattan United States attorney’s office is an insult to the outstanding men and women who have served in that office over the last 50 years.

Actually Rudy didn’t pioneer the use of RICO. That was actually John S Martin, the US Attorney Rudy replaced when he became a federal judge. https://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/17/opinion/17martin.html

First Bluesky post (after being on here for over a month) -
I know this runs counter to everything social media (and capitalism) are about, but I LOVE how small Bluesky is and don’t want it to get any bigger.

This is how the world ends.

The first season of ‘The Bear’ is one of the greatest shows about grief and loss I’ve ever seen. Anyone pretending to like this show has not really seen it.