BEN WILSON @benwilsonthings

I think my circadian rhythms are playing augmented tones when they should be playing diminished tones.

13.11.2025 19:15 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I can’t tell the difference between the Plain Tow Derby and the Cap Toe Oxford.

13.11.2025 19:10 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Maraca Munchkin!

13.11.2025 05:24 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I’m not dry.

10.11.2025 05:22 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Chocolate chaud.

09.11.2025 03:33 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Maui wowie.

08.11.2025 01:20 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

All munchkins love the mama when they’re not feeling well.

06.11.2025 00:28 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Is fencing really a necessary skill nowadays?

05.11.2025 04:58 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

If # is a hashtag, why do we call # on phones ‘pound’ and not ‘hash’?

02.11.2025 08:22 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I’ve never been a finger-licking page turner.

30.10.2025 17:54 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Why do they consider door nails the deadest of all inanimate objects?

22.10.2025 23:55 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Slash.

20.10.2025 03:02 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Haha! Thanks, Tricia!

16.10.2025 12:50 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

An apple has more core strength than I do.

16.10.2025 12:19 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Hot dogs.

14.10.2025 23:49 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Watchword Wintour.

13.10.2025 17:49 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Paint then caulk.

12.10.2025 22:14 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Yiken.

12.10.2025 18:03 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Wanting Wintour.

11.10.2025 20:41 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

My kneecaps are itchy.

11.10.2025 18:14 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

The heron is very patriotic.

10.10.2025 17:34 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

It’s 11:11am. Make a wish.

09.10.2025 18:11 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I’ve carved so many pumpkins in my lifetime you’d be amazed.

07.10.2025 20:17 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Waving Wintour.

07.10.2025 19:59 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Damn you, omental fat!

07.10.2025 19:54 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Why do the signs say “drive thru” not “drive through”?

07.10.2025 19:53 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Winning is all about the D.

07.10.2025 19:48 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

It’s cotton batten maker’s favourite time of the year.

07.10.2025 19:09 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Warning Wintour.

07.10.2025 19:08 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Waiting Wintour.

06.10.2025 02:07 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

BEN WILSON

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