Daniel M Ford

She’s no longer with us but I will never cease recommending the Civil War/postwar novels of Paulette Jiles; Enemy Women, The Color of Lightning, News of the World, Simon the Fiddler, and Chenneville.

Napoleon crowning himself

completed a minor but annoying task so I’m going to get a treat

Does baby need a bottle??? Need a pacifier?

I would ask that person if they needed their diaper changed

Insta ad featuring a lady wearing giant bloomer ass pants with frilly cuffs

Finally, JNCOs for trad wives

A LETTER OF MARQUE CAME FROM THE KING TO THE SCUMMIEST VESSEL I’D EVER SEEN

Can i have citizenship now. I have zero genealogical ties but I also know the lyrics to most Spirit of the West and Great Big Sea tuned

White bearded nerd in a green linen sport coat, lilac shirt, purple polka dot tie and pocket square

Sure the old school restaurant we are taking my mom to no longer has a formal dress code but I’m gonna stunt on em anyway

Same. Clapping.

Just show us the alien corpses or something, let's have some fun with it now

I can't laugh at dumb conspiracy theories anymore because "the entire apparatus of the federal government, including the military, is subordinate to the aim of protecting a rotting pedophile from facing consequences" is plainly, obviously true

Our favorite fancy place _only_ has high-top tables for parties of 2 _unless_ the weather is nice enough to eat outside, or you come in without a reservation and get one of four bar seats. It's the one knock I have on the place

You know if we're looking for media examples of non-toxic, emotionally open masculinity

the PILOT episode of Scrubs (2001) ends with one man revealing to another that, despite his bluster to the contrary, he IS terrified of the weight of their job. Then he says "I love you," sincerely.

describe your plot in five words or less, if you dare

Traumatized specialists fight vampire conspiracy

Area man heroically prepares self for gym despite turning back clocks.

My fellow Americans*, be sure to look under your clock this morning to see what the spirit of Ben Franklin left you!

I got sleep deprivation!

*not valid in Arizona

Amen.

bsky.app/profile/orio...

Please Rube give him $600 million

THREAD: I got laid off from NYMag/Vulture after 14 years. The family lost 75% of income + medical. Now mzs.press bookstore, once a side project. is do-or-die for Judith & I. I feel weird telling you this because others are doing much worse. But if you could like or share this, we'd be so grateful!

Clayton Kershaw doesn't spread his wealth of knowledge; he just waits for it to trickle down.

I don’t know why my friend group all called him that but we did

ORIOLES LEGEND VANCE WORLEY aka THE MAGNIFICENT WORLEY BIRD

Dr. Mindbender!

This is literally cooler than anything I've seen in any baseball movie

Orioles legend Darell Hernaiz

GUNNAR FUCK YEAH

Schwarber hit that ball harder than Grond hit the gates of Minas Tirith

I’ve written all of my novels in Libre office. Even when editor told me it had to be done in word.

You know I love a little run and hit baby

I will accept a loss to Japan or the DR or Puerto Rico. Not Great Britain. Not in baseball