Ethan

Billy Loomis: hey Sidney I murdered your mom and now I’m going to murder you.
Sidney Prescott:
Billy Loomis: jk
Sidney Prescott: god he’s so mysterious

happy "the car clock is finally correct" day to all who celebrate

The title screen to Adventure Island.

Hell yeah I like AI.

A black and white dog wearing a hotdog costume rests his chin on a fuzzy brown arm

glizzy at your service

Hello kids. Great costumes. You can have boring regular candy or, in exchange for a small fee, you can invest in something I'm calling Candy Premium, an AI-enabled solution that

Feel like, as a society, we might consider moving Halloween to the last Friday in October (observed.) Vibes truly immaculate tonight.

i was just trying to explain to A Young Person how the whole idea of super hero movies was basically a joke through the 90s and found myself completely unable to explain the situation to someone who wasn't there

Please refrain from throwing candy into the gorilla exhibit until after they sign “Trick or treat.” Thank you.

Watching Australian streamers play Mortal Kombat Legacy Kollection is very funny because they'll talk about beloved characters like Baraker and Kitaner

It is game 7 of the World Series. The 14,756th inning. Civilizations have risen and fell. Yesavage's grandson is going to be the starting pitcher.

Grandpa Simpson yelling at a cloud

Back in my day, AI used to stand for Adobe Illustrator! And we hated that, too!

Not long now...

[finally standing up to a bully] hey asshole...
[but remembering that first and foremost I am a poet] I will engulf you like a fog

Shaq buying a new pair of shoes and dropping the old pair off at goodwill where they remain for years until a clown on a budget has the best day of his life

wish my dog would understand that a few barks every once in a while is fine but he can’t go making it his entire personality

some people were born to help, some people were born to innovate. me? i was born to reset my password

“Beeves” is an accepted plural of “beef”

a man is showing a group of students a siberian lynx and holding it under its arms. It appears to be nearly 6 feet long, but it's almost all torso

you have been blessed by the long lynx

The weirdest thing about moving to the country is when you step outside and there's a real duck just staring at you

baseball needs to have some sort of time based “sleepy rule”

Art by • Matt Dixon

Getting hooked up to the machine that lets you telepathically communicate with mice so that I can tell them that I love their cute faces and unique abilities but they just scream “GIVE ME PEANUT BUTTER” over and over again.

I JUST WANT CHARLIE BROWN TO KICK THAT FUCKING FOOTBALL

Abcnews graphic: surreal moment as coyote drinks water from skylight window on top of Los Angeles hair salon (Image of exactly that, except the framing is canted and as a result it looks like a coyote imprisoned in a glass square a la the phantom zone from Superman)

I understand why they had to stop him but I don’t agree with imprisoning him in the phantom zone

When he says “hit it, Joe”, I don’t think first time viewers are going to be prepared for just how hard Joe hits it.

Art by • Yoshitaka Amano

Movie: YOU KILLED MY WIFE! THIS IS MY REVENGE!

YouTube: Why He Wants Revenge [Explained]

USA Sega Saturn commercial featuring a bald greyscale video of someone's head over a purple background. the guy is saying "are you ready for the future?"

whenever AI does some total nonsense I always say "are you ready for the future?" like that guy in the Sega Saturn commercial, which is for some reason not a meme