Rhine Stoned Cowboy

Overheard my genz coworker talking about how much he likes the new Baby Keem album but I thought he said BB King and I was like
“Oh man did they put out an unreleased album? I’m so sad I never got to see him before he died, I love his stuff in the ‘Well’ era”

Genz cw:
“Who???”

Coworker hit me with a new one today
“It’s like beating a dead horse, eventually you just get tired!”

A French knight name Sir La Table

The ultimate dream is to be a 10-12 year career journeyman utility infielder who never bats above .210

odie loves a #LunchSandwich

Must be a Albertsons umbrella store! I see signature brand items. I just fear the peppers eye doesn’t have enough holding capacity!!

Willie developed some unfortunately very reactionary and flat out wrong opinions later in his life but goddamn if “Eso Se Baila Asi” isn’t one of the greatest and most raucously joyous songs ever recorded

Sugar Ray
Sugar Wife Debra
Sugar Brother Robert
Sugar Mother Marie
Sugar Father Frank

Inspired by true events

I don’t want to work I want to be with my wife
((And the incredible baked pesto penne I made last night))

We saw Gaga

*Obama if he was trying to get a bar to let his extra terrestrial friend in*
Uh, let Klaxzor in here

Caprese sandwich in fresh focaccia from DeFalcos by the lake at sunset
Perfect Arizona statehood day

If you’ve been trying her patience, try pink carnations!
Follow for more Wilco approved valentines tips

This is how I watch Suns games

danny's original tweet which reads, Today, students at my high school in Chicago held an Anti-ICE protest. I was the only one that decided to hold a sign that said ‘I Love ICE’. Instead of allowing me to express my opinion, I was assaulted — Just for standing up for law enforcement. What is happening to America? there is a 47 second video that sees multiple other kids talk smack to him and one of them just lays into him physically

a quote tweet that has transcription from the punch. the tweet reads:“You’re gonna punch me?” “Yeah” “Then you’re gonna in trouble for that” “Okay” Followed by this frame is one of the hardest things I’ve seen on the internet this week. the frame in question is the kid winding up for a punch. it looks exactly like the pepe punching meme

over on x the everything app some Chicago high school kid named Danny Spud tried to disrupt his school's anti-ICE protest by yelling about how much he loves ICE and then filmed himself getting walloped by a fellow student lmao

the quote tweet making fun of him has 3x the likes

If you live in a snowbird state like I do and you see a Wisconsin plate, it’s safer to just assume they are drunk and drive accordingly

People are so disconnected from their food it’s wild
A woman came up with a look of shocked anger and yelled
“There is a piece of, of, of POOP on the celery you’re trying to sell us!!”
So I went over and looked
“Ma’am it’s a small clod of dirt… from the soil… where it grows…”

*To the tune of “Shout” by Tears For Fears*
Ale. Stout.
Pour us a drought!
These are the beers that we brew about
Come on!

Valentine’s Day always reminds me of this stupid thing I made

Hold all my calls…
I’m watching Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers (Extended Edition)
With my wife

Wild the backflips some historians will do to try and erase trans people
Uuuuhhh the revolutionary Haitian leader Romaine la Prophétesse dressed and addressed herself as a woman because, uhhhh uuuh, she wanted to strengthen her connection with Mother Mary! Yeah yeah THATS why!

What’s the time?
Pizza time ⏰

Those Okies had no idea what hit them

Thinking about John Lennon’s horrible shot form again
It’s a good thing music worked out for him because this shot couldn’t even make it in the 60’s league when it was full of part time plumbers and construction workers

Louie Armstrong signs a fams head 1961 rock and roll photos

rock and roll photos

*guy who mishears whey protein bar as gay protein bar*
Yeah sure I’ll try a gay protein bar

Bad Bunny halftime was fucking incredible
Don’t listen to the Boomers!
Last halftime show they got their hands on, The Who, was the worst thing I’ve ever seen.
Townsend with his disgusting belly out when he tried to windmill, Daltrey phoning in his voice.
Very VERY disrespectful!

That’s called commitment to the bit!!