Fright Shark

Do we know explicitly if galaxy gas is against the teachings of the Mormon church

If you're out of shape enough playing 30-40 snaps of very very low intensity football from the center position can be considered a workout

Blair Shitsworth

Can you remind me

The phrase "don't shit where you eat" in reference to dating coworkers was always so confusing to me. Which part of that analogy is the shitting

Guys the raiders just called and apparently I'm going to be stepping in for Maxx Crosby next season. I'm really worried because I've never played defensive end before in the NFL, does anyone have any tips

My job is so incredibly situational and I'm asked to gather very specific details about a room in a building that only I've been in, just for a lake to get drained so my paragraph can become "there are significant issues to be found within" 😊

Currently getting ready to do that now lmao

Currently watching my CIO have Microsoft Copilot rewrite something I spent an hour working on

The convenience store by my house just told me they have new energy drinks in stock. I don't drink energy drinks anymore really but if you ever catch me drinking something called "Gorilla Mind" I beg you to get me help

A German Shepherd named Thor standing in the sunlight, looking very regal

Close up of a German Shepherd named Thor. He is looking at the camera with his tongue poking out slightly

Just look at this guy containing multitudes

My dog is the best guy

Your honor, the only thing my client is guilty of is pulling on his little thing so much it almost fell off. And if that's a crime then you can lock me up and throw away the key

Does anyone know if I'm alright

Beat the game today, I loved it but no meatloaf.

Old people like to say children don't play like in the old days but I'm literally watching some neighborhood kids going around hitting stuff with loose metal pipes that they clearly stole from the construction site down the street. Timeless

This week so far I've given blood and urine and had a nose swab at my doctor. I assume next visit they'll have me go yank one out to hit the full combo

My genius on here is recognized in small bursts and it keeps me humble

Oscar Wilde was right we truly are our own devils

Very ironic that I used to joke about having more blood than most people and now I have to get a phlebotomy every 4-6 months because my blood is actually fucked up

Is anyone else late for a blood appointment? They have to take a bunch of my blood out again and I'm stuck in traffic

This year we have truly revolutionized the industry by putting 70 power buttons on our laptop

It's important for a child's growth to know two guys with the same first name. Try to ensure your kid has two guys named Mike or Danny in their social circle

(sweating profusely presenting a slideshow to the committee) so the bell we ring every morning... Big ass titty shaped?

I would like to be traded publicly

A Google maps screenshot centered on the town of Crapo, Maryland

I still think about you sometimes

I am still running a fever in case anyone's wondering

THC stands for that high chemical whereas CBD stands for cock and ball dorture

I had a dream that one of the big vtuber agencies in Japan introduced someone named "Hashimoto Jerry" and it was just a regular guy who streamed with all the Japanese vtubers. He spoke English but all the vtubers understood him

I'm trying to watch one movie every day this year so give me some recs ♥️ preferably recs for movies I've already seen, that way I don't have to watch as many movies this year