Kellan

Absolutley🙏🏽

One of the suprising things I’ve gained from healing is that I see my birth parents, my first family, in me a little bit more every day.
Becoming myself; who I’ve always been, lets me meet them a little bit more than I ever thought I would.
What ways has healing shown up in suprising ways for you?

But love exists in many forms, all of which are just as sacred and important in our lives.
Plantonic love / queer platonic love represent something far more important to me.
(Plus not everyone needs/is attracted to sex or romance in the first place)

Post valentines thoughts:
Til a few years ago, I put romantic and sexual relationships on a massive pedestal. Society teaches us the sex and romance are the ultimate ways to attain happiness and success in life; that they’re our greatest needs.

But I’m here now. Appreciating that is far better for me than making a checklist of everything I’ve still got to heal.

Moved out from my parents, let go of placing my worth in academia, left my comfort zone countless times, found QTIPOC community, got naked a lot 😂 and built a practice where I find purpose and get to work with my ideal clients.

Sometimes I lose sight of all that in my pursuit to better myself.

How often do you pause to acknowledge just how far you’ve come?

In the last 5 years, I’ve processed so much pain around adoption, I realised who I was, changed my name and pronouns, overcame feeling suicidal, survived long covid, graduated (twice)…

Love the timing of this. Welcoming you on this new cycle!🙏🏽

Sometimes I find myself pushing deeper into emotional wounds or digging into trauma in an attempt to resolve this boredom.

Our challenge is to create safety for our nervous systems to trust that boredom is not in fact a threat, and is actually more the absence of overwhelm. (Which can be nice😅)

Something I’ve realised for myself lately is that it can feel very boring to be free from emotional upheaval, rage, grief, shame, etc.
The traumatised nervous system is so used to emotional overwhelm that when we heal, we sometimes need to create our own struggle because peace is unfamiliar.

#trans #ftm #transmasc #healing #comingout

It’s great that I can be that for myself and others now… but the rage and pain still needed to be felt.

We don’t talk enough about the anger and grief that comes with healing.
I’ve recently been talking to someone struggling with just coming out as trans. It dawned on me that I’ve become the person I needed when I was 16. Which is amazing.
But I never had a me.
God that hit me hard.

The best thing we can do is to fully acknowledge whats going on in our system. Sometimes that involves going into the feelings. Sometimes that involves healthy distraction and distancing. But denying whats there is not only dysregulating but a fast track to chronic pain and health issues.

#nervoussystemregulation #dysregulation #nervoussystemhealing

Going into dysregulation is part of regulating our nervous system.
If someone is physically, mentally, or emotionally abusing me, it’s not regulation if I’m calm.
Our nervous system is meant to respond with survival states at times.
Trying to prevent it at all costs will lead to burnout longterm.

#adoption #adopteevoices #adoptionistrauma #relationaltrauma #triggers

I work with non adopted people who have ‘adoptee wounds’ in that their nervous system has very similar relational triggers.

So many people are working with physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual abandonment from their early developmental ages.

Abandonment comes in many forms. It’s all valid.

For those of us who didn’t have people who could hold space for us, we often are left feeling the need to over reach for connection.

But when we’re filled with this need for external reassurance, validation, and love, sometimes the best thing we can learn to do is reach back in to ourselves.

#rootcause #healing #therapy #traumahealing #carlyung

Officially ready to help my fellow queer, trans, and adoptee community to change the subconscious limiting beliefs holding them back from the joy, success, love, and abundance they deserve!

Until we make the unconcious concious, it will dictate our lives and we will call it fate - Carl Yung.

Community is the future!!!🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🙌🙌

Happens to me every time😂

I’m still learning what love that isn’t transactional looks and feels like.

#adoption #partstherapy #caretaker #codependency #attatchementtrauma

Learning that love is not transactional is a challenge adoptees especially face. We were literally bought and designated the purpose of filling the unfillable hole in our adoptive parents lives…>>

Relearning that healthy connections don’t require rescuing and saving others is challenging but possible when we have the right resources and internal safety tools…>>

I’ve been thinking about my caretaker part a lot recently. Therapists are therapists for a reason after all.

When we didn’t have emotionally attuned parents/guardians growing up, we learnt to look after everyone else’s emotions to gain safety, connection, acceptance… love….>>

Picture of Kellan, a transmasc east asian somatic therapist sitting outside in plaid, jeans, and displaying crystals and tattoos.

Hey, I’m Kellan!
I’m a queer, transmasc, neurodivergent, transracial adoptee who believes in decolonising our western view of health and therapy (and everything else too).
I help fellow queers and adoptees embody healing, joy, and connection!
I’ll be sharing thoughts and anecdotes on here!