timmim

It is okay to smell like wet dog if you have been making friends with a wet dog.

If it quacks like a lame duck and limps like a lame duck...

In relationships, it’s important to remember the little things. My parole officer, for example, hates to be tickled

Couldn't he find anyone to interview that night?

Green.

Not "Ça plane pour moi" (by a famous Belgian)?

Like short people in bus or train seats. 🙂

Pirate

Look all I’m saying is if three weirdo strangers showed up to see my baby carrying a bunch of spices and going on and on about how ‘tender and mild’ he looks, we’d have a problem

Who woke him up when it was time for him to say that?

YouTube video by mantc70 OMG TRAMPOLINE TRAMPOLINE - Hurricane Bawbag in Scotland

Was it this one again?
youtu.be/mGTUvffNrc0?...

Just stop reporting on what the bastard's up to. Don't turn up. Don't let him say anything.

Hockey uses a ball.

Then the child should be taken into care.

19.00 MICHAEL MCINTYRE'S THE WHEEL The comedian is send back to the stone ag where he must gain the trust of cavemen to simply transport device. But with their lack of knowledge of middle-class concepts such as 'the man drawer', 'trying to leave the house with kinds' and 'when I went to the dentist' - will the Neanderthals simply opt to beat him to death, if only to stop the incessant skipping?

They're too busy gambolling and frolicking.

Never seen such a sign.

"Weapons Grade Bellend" would be a great title for the next Bond film. I can just hear Shirley Bassey singing the theme song.

mary: you booked a hotel yet
joseph (playing wooden xbox): yeah no i'm on it

YouTube video by Aryan Arora GGM I can make it at home for Nothing (Goodness Graciaos me)

youtu.be/bCA6aoH0wWQ?...

No loss.

You're the one from the boring tabloid story in every issue of Viz, aren't you?

20.30 B*A*N*G*E*R*S Spin-off from the classic US Army sitcom M*A*S*H

Hungry

Special underwear?

Not unreasonable.

What made him think he couldn't speak English?

He's partly correct.

High earners usually take, not give.

Oddly specific.

Glad it wasn't just me who automatically set it to music.