fagdoka magicum

*trying to gently turn down an oomf who wants to take a wet and wild ride on the htb train* sorry but,,,,you're like a sister to me and not in the good way :((((((

got my fucking ass with that one tbh I totally get it yep yep

look to your blowleft now look to your blowright. odds are one of you three will suffer from alcoholic poisoning by the end of the semester

I WIN NO MATTER WHAT

cheated on a political cartoonist and now theres a caricature of me in the new york times holding a big spoon and eating all the grain in america with a sickle and hammer in the sky behind me and an elephant is crushing a donkey too for some reason

yeah i know I ate it did you know im actually a ghoulie btw

I assume my invitation got lost in the doggy mail?????

only thing to strengthen solidarity between trans women is to have public pissing contests with prizes based on loudness of stream, height of stream arc, longest distance, and s,,,,,s,, ,, ,s,smuh,,,smell

*to the tune of jolene* tranny. tranny. tranny. trannyyyyyyy. Im begging you please don't post yourself on r/femboyyy

my plug takes klarna now oh it's Over over

capcom: we are very proud of the RE engine and have utilized this amazing technology in resident evil requiem to the highest processing power by simulating what it looks like when da zombie got doo doo poop streaks on da butt

nobody knows how much I support putting gay genes and estrogen in the water supply

many of you know my based political views which I won't give fully away here out of safety but it involves a giant industrial shredder that runs on billionaire blood

it is so simple its literally are you on the side of humans living or humans dying

OOOCH OUCH YEEEEEEOWWWCH your pussy too hot it burned me!! no really it did look *shows you my scorched schmeat* phoooo phoooo dang my piss is gonna shoot like aerosol now

just to hammer in how much of this war is just old diseased dying men playing with their toys one last time, did you guys know they're calling it "Operation Epic Fury"

lesbian but I'll still fall to my knees in sorrow and offer to give killer head to my weed delivery guy when I'm 5 minutes late picking up my stuff downstairs

becoming more and more clear that majority of so called allies have comfortably distanced themselves from what's coming for all trans people by saying "oh it couldn't happen HERE. not HERE."

they should make a straight-curious dom breeder DL 🐽 married with kids james bond

*walking into starbucks in a sexy leather jacket, my foot is bleeding, my penis is cut off and dried out and resting in my hand, and the sound of police sirens in rhe back is growing louder and louder* yeah hi baby doll lemme get a SWAGaccino

the chubby trans woman with the fat ass and soft tummy has unfortunately gained confidence in her body

me: *warming up the crowd* good afternoon ladies and germs

petri dish: *shouting from the back* im a transfem bacteria residue you horse's ass

fbi agent who got sick of trailing me: explain this!!!

me: *handcuffed to the table* it's just some cartoons

fbi agent: this is a model accurate LUNA from mlp THRUSTING her emo horse PUSSY knuckles on your PHONE

me: so we gooning to her or what

fbi agent: *taking off her pants* back to back??

#IGetHardWhenSheHugsMe

yes

we got the neutral milk HOTEL MOTEL holiday INN

also you wanna see the ass jiggle vid I posted on the other app 🥺🥺🥺

YEAHHHHHHHHHHH

know i have a woman in my life who i love dearly and will marry in front of a mixed reception crowd of close family and mutuals, who will have to look my mom in the eye and say they know me from either posting ass on twitter or bluesky, but when resident evil requiem comes out she WILL be neglected

WHY DIDNT THE APP SHOW ME YOU BEING HOTTTTTTT