𝙋𝙀𝙏𝙀𝙍!

Oh! Hi there, little red thing!

😁

Oh my god, am *I* about to introduce you to football!?

I’ve gotta teach you everything about it!

To the Peter-copter!!!

[WHERE DID THAT COME FROM. 💀.]

…Hey. We agreed on ONE question.

Only the BEST football team to ever exist!!!

[He seems so excited 😭]

Ummmm…

[Counting in his head. Give him a minute. Or two.]

…

Twenty-four!

Eh, I don’t think so?

I was briefly on the New England Patriots, though!

Oh, of course! My apologies, Miss Evelyn.

My name’s Petah. Petah Griffin!

[Peter’s eyes light up as the tankard is given to him. He quickly takes a sip, and grins.]

Wow!!! This is amazin’!!! Thank ya, kind lady!!!

Oh!!! Oh!!! Can ya summon me a beer?

[😭.]

I’m not THAT bad!

Go on, ask me a question only a smart guy would know.

[This can only end well. 💀]

//I thought I was gonna suck at writing him but it’s fucking FLOWING THROUGH MY FINGERS

That’s what you get for insultin’ my intelligence!

[Sticking his tongue out at her. 💀]

Oh, yeah!? Well, see THIS, buster!

[Bro just flipped her off. With BOTH HANDS. 😭😭😭.]

Oh my god!!!

How’d you do that!?!?

[He’s easily impressed also. 💀]

It’s not?

Well whaddaya mean, then, strange lady?

[This man. 😭.]

//I’M NOT VERY GOOD AT FIGHT RP PLEASE KNOW THAT BEFOREHAND

Magic?

Oh, I know some magic tricks!

My card tricks don’t work very well for the blind, though…

[Cutaway 3. 👹.]

FOOL!?

Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an IDIOT.

[Crossing his arms angrily.]

Um…

I don’t know.

[He’s dumb, Evelyn, you can’t expect him to know what you’re talking about.]

//Make a Lois account. You won’t

//Oh yeah absolutely, he is not going to make those jokes to children

😦

Whaddaya mean by that?

What, you mean my flashbacks?

They’re random memories of mine that sometimes come to mind very vividly!

That’s me! 😁

Who might you be, little child?

//That said, please use some discretion when determining whether or not you’d like to interact with Peter. He IS a character of adult animation, and will be treated as such on this account

Geez, pal, calm down! No one’s here to hurt ya!

//Although if I go TOO far and make anybody uncomfortable, please don’t hesitate to message me about it! The goal of this is fun, not hate

//I should put a disclaimer out before this goes much further— please be aware that this will be a much more explicit/raunchy account than the others, with some potentially offensive jokes— this IS Peter after all— no slurs or anything though I can promise you that

What was what?

[Peter looks confused.]

You look more scared than I was during the Silence of the Lamb!

[Cutaway 2. 👹👹👹.]

Sure I am! Why, I’m happier than bullfrogs on vacation in Ethiopia!

[Insert a cutaway here 👹👹👹]