red scary

dawg he is fuckin SICK get a HOBBY bro learn how to MAKE FURNITURE or something ANYTHING GOD

lmfao yalls goat is affiliated w war criminals, common ronaldo L!!!!

sorry i cant answer the phone right now i’m busy coming up with nicknames for everyone i work with so i can talk about them with the work homie secretly

me: i’m very chill and never dramatic

also me: if i dont get my morning treat i will go to war with all who stand against me

cant get to my coffee shop bc of tulsa king filming, sylvester stallone come fight me rn

Good morning, Asia. While you were sleeping, this was our most-read story: on.ft.com/3JH3g3p

i love being mean to men in khakis and i love getting paid to do it even more

windows 11 they switched to aptos

leave ungoliant, devourer of the light of the elves, and all her dark evil children alone

im sorry some stereotypes are true: i am a white woman who loves writing psychically damaging work emails

ugh it’s so good

dont talk to me or my giant wife

if the “war on drugs” allows the president to blow up any boat he thinks might have drugs on it what pray tell does the declared “war on poverty” allow?

me laying around the cabin while the most beautiful women in the world run around butt naked

when it’s our turn we won’t apologize for the terror

@redscary.bsky.social your swag too different. ur hummus Too creamy. they’ll Kill You

oh my god

Down in the comments i see there is a “director’s cut” how about cut my fucking veins open

TSA was confused by my tarot cards in my carry-on and one of the workers asked me if I could tell her when she’ll get paid 😭

most of the difference between a muffin and a cookie for breakfast is psychological, if you think about it

like does he go to the fuckin grocery store what is his deal

wow the nipple piercings is new lore to me

im not learning that venezuelan girl’s name, she is juanita guaidos to me

Even worse sometimes i just get hymns like “trust and obey” stuck in my head for no reason

when the book got a little ribbon in it 🫦

wailing and gnashing their teeth over The Groups

who’s primary-ing jon ossoff’s laken riley act signing ass

if matt y and ezra klein had any capacity for self reflection or shame they would retire from public life for being the wrongest a person has ever been. alas.

lmfao

king of interior decorating