New South Essays

I don't typically air my dirty laundry, but this week's all new, special edition of New South Essays examines a man, his dog, his underpants and his place in the household hierarchy. #dogs #pets newsouthessays.com/2026/02/28/w...

Watching the #WinterOlympics2026 and wondering what those folks are doing with brooms? If you live down South and want a Winter Olympics you can relate to, here's a proposal for a Southern version. See if these events make sense to you: newsouthessays.com/2026/02/21/s...

14 years ago New South Essays blew up the internet with a post about what women really want on Valentine's Day. Here's an update on what's happening at our house tonight. WARNING: This post contains content that is "very romance." Happy #ValentinesDay! newsouthessays.com/2026/02/14/t...

Our oldest turned 25 this week, and we have officially entered the phase of life in which we measure our age by the age of our kids. This week's New South Essay unpacks the concept of your kids "catching up" to you. newsouthessays.com/2026/02/07/d...

It's that glorious time of year when people plan their beach trips. What new factors are making this an unsolvable equation for us this year? The vagaries of planning a beach trip while snow and ice somehow keep showing up in our little Southern hamlet... newsouthessays.com/2026/01/31/w...

Is Winter Storm Fern stirring snowpocalyptic feelings in your Southern heart? This one will be more nuisance than fun. So make yourself a hot cocoa out of all that milk you bought to go with the loaves of bread, and enjoy New South Essays special preview. newsouthessays.com/2026/01/24/w...

Remember a simpler time when “yes” or “I agree” was the standard response to a question or statement? New South Essays is here to explain why we’ve replaced “yes” with the now cliched “100%” newsouthessays.com/2026/01/17/p...

Here’s to you, January birthday person Conventional wisdom is that folks with December birthdays have it the worst. Their special day gets lost in the run up to Christmas, and those with Dec. 25-31 birthdays are completely overshadowed.…

New South Essays salutes everyone with the misfortune of trying to celebrate a birthday in January. Never before have people deserved so much, yet received so little. newsouthessays.com/2013/01/12/h...

Everything you need to know for 2026, and some stuff you don't, can be found in The Old Farmer's Almanac. The 234th edition of this venerable publication, including when to plant tubers and some really, really bad jokes, is this week's New South Essay... newsouthessays.com/2026/01/03/p...

I can't believe the phenomenal growth of New South Essays in 2025. I am humbled and grateful for you, dear readers and friends, cultural inquisitors and critics, fans and avid supporters. Was your favorite post among the top 10 for the year? newsouthessays.com/2025/12/27/t...

Whether you are on our Christmas card mailing list or not, now's your chance to get the scoop on the Wallaces and see great photos from our Official Christmas letter, courtesy of New South Essays. Merry Christmas from our family to yours! newsouthessays.com/2025/12/20/t...

Brick house decorated for Christmas with wreaths and white lights

Remember what the countdown to Christmas was like as a kid? Yeah, well, as an adult, it's a different ballgame. How to cope with "Countdown-itis," and make it to Christmas is the topic of this week's special edition of New South Essays. newsouthessays.com/2023/12/09/h...

Too many holiday gift guides to keep track of? Do you put a premium on all things Southern? The New South Essays Official Guide to Holiday Gift Guides can help you find a Southern gift for everyone on your list... even the yankees. Happy shopping! newsouthessays.com/2025/12/06/t...

It's officially the Christmas season and you need the New South Essays Definitive Must-Watch Christmas Movie List TM to guide you. (Be sure to tell me where I messed up and what movies you would have recommended that I didn't...) newsouthessays.com/2025/11/29/t...

It's Thanksgiving week, and to help you with your vocabulary, here's the official list of unofficial measurement for New South Essays. How many do you use? Here's hoping you have a heap of folks at your Thanksgiving feast, and it's a mess of fun! newsouthessays.com/2025/11/22/a...

Around our house we’re celebrating the one and only Carla Barron Wallace this week. Her wisdom increases with each passing year. See what she said recently that led to the best birthday gift I could possibly give her in this all-new New South Essays post:
newsouthessays.com/2025/11/15/w...

Has DoorDash ever let you down? You may be entitled to commiseration. This week's post is a cautionary tale of lemon pepper wings, honey chipotle crispers and SEC officiating gone wrong. newsouthessays.com/2025/11/08/h...

When was the last time you ate at a "Meat and Three?" I doubled up on that pleasure this week, and while my pants are fitting a little more snugly, New South Essays includes the non-nutritional benefits of eating Southern. newsouthessays.com/2025/11/01/g...

Last weekend, I said "yes" when my first instinct was to say "no." I'm grateful for time spent with family. Here's this week's reminder from New South Essays to embrace opportunities and make memories. newsouthessays.com/2025/10/25/s...

Have you always wondered what kind of person you are? Wonder no longer. We're here to help with the New South Essays Mexican Restaurant Personality Type Indicator. Gain deep insights into what makes you you and get a hankerin' for carnitas. Buenas dias! newsouthessays.com/2025/10/18/m...

Customer service is dead. What happened when a rental car company's automated shake down resulted in a $566 bill being turned over to collections? This week's post: The sinister side of technology-driven customer service and Caveat Emptor. newsouthessays.com/2025/10/11/t...

It's the annual fall spider offensive in the Arachnid vs Human War. Will they take the bridge and nab the dorky, middle-aged dude in a chartreuse windbreaker? This week's New South Essay tells all. newsouthessays.com/2025/10/04/w...

Would you rather continue doomscrolling or spend five minutes laughing hysterically at the latest post from your favorite influencer? This week's all new New South Essay delves into "This or That?" and "Would You Rather..." newsouthessays.com/2025/09/27/g...

"Who is your team?" can be a difficult question during College Football Season. What's my answer when I have so many allegiances? Read this week's New South Essay to find out: newsouthessays.com/2025/09/20/w...

How did I become a possible candidate for skin cancer treatment spokesmodel? Years of ignoring sunscreen. This week's all new, special cautionary New South Essay reveals what happened at my latest dermatology check up. newsouthessays.com/2025/09/13/s...

In the immortal words of Britney Spears, "Oops!... I did it again." Back in 2023 I brough a summer cold home from vacation and infected the office. As I fight off a post-Labor Day, end-of-summer cold, let's revisit the lessons I obviously failed to learn: newsouthessays.com/2023/07/15/s...

I'm back in Lake Wales this Labor Day to help Mom and Dad with projects and bask in the lovely Central Florida humidity. It reminded me of this New South Essays post from 2024 that revealed most of my "projects" were actually just "piddlin'." See if you can relate. newsouthessays.com/2024/09/14/p...

What's in my journal? That's for me to know and no one to find out. This week's all-new, special New South Essays post reveals how and why I journal. newsouthessays.com/2025/08/23/t...

Never reveal a woman's age. On 8/18 Mom celebrates 8 decades (Do the math... as a retired math teacher she would want it that way!) This week's New South Essay is my birthday wishes for Mom. Love you, Mom, and have a great 80th! (Ooops, I gave it away). newsouthessays.com/2025/08/16/8...

Nothing beats a Dusty Slay birthday party! (Well, seeing Dusty live tonight at Atlanta Symphony Hall might!) Read how my family pulled off another great surprise birthday in this week's New South Essays newsouthessays.com/2025/08/09/a...