Daily Trix

These guys were selling t-shirts until they needed a war to cover up the intentional damage they did to the economy and the president's involvement in a pedophilia scandal.

Taylor Swift "I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative."

SNL's Colin Jost on Iran: "This attack might be a bad idea, I don't know. I'm not really an expert on Iran. So let's hear from someone who can explain why we might have done it."

The Fyre Festival of wars.

"Let's just do it and be legends, man."

Tony Blair is on the executive board of Trump's "Board of Peace," so no, I don't believe he's learned a single fucking thing.

“It’s just that their appeal is becoming more selective”

If this is true-and reports suggest it is-it’s terrifying

Because the IRCG promised to wreak havoc on America

And if they replace Ayatollah Khamenei quickly, that potentially means a lightning fast response

Meanwhile Congress hasn’t yet been called into session to debate what to do about Iran

Probably nothing to worry about right now.

Freedom Fries (now with beef tallow)

Getting some real "Why is six afraid of seven" vibes from this.

Just say you sat out the election or wrote in Bernie, you dumb fucking cunt.

We had to do this because Iran was using pronouns.

This is so much more exciting than boring old law-abiding Joe Biden, amirite.

If you live in Tehran and need a way to get around, use code EPICFURRY for 50% off a ride this week.

Do they not celebrate "White Boy Summer" in Colombia?

Trump does unpopular thing in direct violation of a campaign promise, part #976348
It’s not a mystery why his approval rating is 37% and Dems are leading by 10 on the generic ballot in our latest poll. Break enough promises and people start to notice

I hope this doesn't prevent Trump from winning his club's golf tournament or anything.

Paramount to be given control of Iranian state media.

Whiskey Ramadan with Tony Dokoupil

We're doing this to bring affordability to Iran.

Looking forward to all the forthcoming NY Times articles that frame this insane war from the perspective of "Trump the real estate developer."

At least we've got measles under control, amirite.

SCIF = Some Closet in Florida

Sources say that, privately, Jared & Ivanka hope that Iranian proxies target Don Jr. and Eric instead of them.

Where can I bet on how many prohibited devices are brought into the Mar-a-Lago "SCIF"?

There's nothing edgier than blaming Democrats for things that Trump and the GOP congressional majorities are doing/not doing.

+10 cool points for you.

So it's just Trump, Netanyahu, and the US Men's Hockey Team in the coalition.

All of this could've been prevented if the Ayatollah had simply donated a few million dollars for the White House ballroom.

I hope this is at least creating some shareholder value.

As an American Jew, I think this is really, really fucking bad for American Jews. Antisemitism here is about to get even worse.