Riley

That rocket did a loop around the cosmic block. Katy Perry went to space the same way kids will count layovers as “states I’ve visited”

Why did the Octopus 🐙 change his underwear? 🩲

He left a little Squidmark 🦑

I love my job because I make grown men regret asking me dumb questions.

Shout out to @arbys-roast-beef.bsky.social homie forgot my au jus but /legally/ I can’t be mad because there was a free order of Mozz and extra bronco berry sauce 😎👉👉

I basically can narrow everything I’ve read this last year into 3 categories. Banned. Gay. Unhinged Romance. #booksky

Nothing says I’m in my 30s like taking my Arthritis and anxiety meds with a Monster energy

Hey I need it to be warm again so I can go into the woods and scream

I love you the way Ali Hazelwood loves a man in a Henley #booksky

Me: I’m like Tinkerbell if I don’t get enough attention I’ll die

My partner: If that were true you would have died in childhood #ouch

Image of a cross stitch mimicking the message you get when you die in the old computer game Oregon Trail that says “YOU LISTENED TO RFK”

💀

The only good thing about having my dead name on dash is I know people get excited when they see a feminine name for their grocery order.

This chicken place has me fully Invested in this Arabic soap opera. No idea what they’re saying but I know it’s straight tea

Sorry I snapped, you turned on the blender and my body reacted like it was being hunted for sport
#selfcaresaturday

Look babe I got a new book!
“Is it porn?”
It’s porn. #booksky

Nothing like field trip season at the aquarium to remind you why you take birth control.

I don’t know if I like Farming Simulator 25. It’s giving colonizer vibes. #gamerboi

I cannot begin to describe this book and how much I loved it. A feel good queer romance that reminds us why representation matters.

I’m like a yassified Jelly Roll

Spending Valentine’s Day the only way we know how.
Proving why we can never live anywhere with only one toilet. #ibs

Bruh I did not just struggle through a book, because it was hard to focus, look up book club questions, so I wouldn’t be anxious for a queer neurodivergent book club ONLY TO FORGET TO GO TO THE BOOK CLUB 💀

If that’s not confirmation that I am in fact neurodivergent idk what is.

When you buy a new plush and you have to love and cuddle them before putting on display so they know they’re loved

Genuine question. Why do iPad screens feel like that?

✨Not a Stingray✨

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_...

Alright y’all gotta stop with the stupid strain names because why did I just buy flower named “dog food”

The worst thing about this Gulf of Mexico bs is I might have to have a face to face fight with some dork about it.

"you never shut up about politics, talk about something else"

I am part of the named target group of a moral panic that brought a fascist Neo-Nazi regime to power.

I do not have the luxury of a non-political existence.

I will not pretend otherwise for your comfort.

When you’re so gay the only belt you own is a rainbow belt

a picture of a shark with the words bruh really written above it ALT: a picture of a shark with the words bruh really written above it

Red, White, and Blueland Shark?

Yeehaw 🤠
#pacificinvertebrate

Fuck Capitalism!
-me after googling how much it would cost to paint my car like a Little Tikes Cozy Coupe.