Lizzums 🌙

I've had various therapy since my teens. Started paying for it privately almost a year ago at this point? I guess I just thought I'd be "better" by now but nope, still cripplingly agoraphobic. >.<

I'm trying to stop my spark from getting snuffed out but it's a challenge. Still, I'm not giving up. Hopefully I'll level out more with myself soon. Slowly doing a lil more self-care, exercise, creative stuff. I feel like having a break from streaming was 100% the right choice for my health.

But then people think I don't care :') And I just don't have the energy to force past it and be sociable. It's also not good to do that most of the time too. I should try push a *little* more though. I've been neglecting everything I enjoy and have been sort of rotting/festering.

I've reached out for validation in certain areas and, well, it didn't go as I expected. It kinda ended up sinking my heart in to my stomach and validating the wrong kind of thoughts. I'm always convinced I'm annoying/a bother etc so I just try to lurk in the background and not pester folk.

I've been really struggling with my mental wellbeing for the past couple of months and I've hit a lot of resistance with myself in therapy too which isn't helping but it means I'm getting somewhere that is crucial to progress. It still sucks though. It's really hard.

"Taking a break" feels really weird, and it's silly at how guilty I feel for it. Doesn't help that I feel like I'm undoing my progress when I do. I guess because I lose momentum.

Enjoyable content

I’d say “Tis the season” but your seasons are backwards

Rude

Blue haired anime girl in a halloween costume, text reads : happy halloween!

Happy Halloween darlings!
Stay safe, stay well, and have a lovely time <3

If you happen to know of seemingly decent places where you can get them so I can ensure I avoid them, let me know 👀

I got a random, thoughtful gift of fingerless mittens a couple of years or so ago. It's time to break them out again now I think! They're getting a bit tatty but I get the pleasure of using a debobbler on them which helps a bunch and not so secretly fills me with glee. Satisfying

a close up of a cat 's face with a pink background and a blurred background . ALT: a close up of a cat 's face with a pink background and a blurred background .

I made a saving throw (in D&D) and our DM said “you shake it off” (being dazed) and I started singing Taylor swift and they all laughed at me

I'm feeling pretty salty - I was supposed to go away for my birthday but health decided NAH and I was too poorly the entire time. Still feeling rotten, and kinda sorry for myself, but I had a nice "break" anyways

My grandmother made me a lemon loaf!

Thanks Nat! x

Thanks Tree <3 My lil treat for myself. I wanted to take some nice pics out with Fen but my stomach had other ideas T_T But otherwise it's been a nice day! x

Thanks Ant! x

It's my balloon day! I got a new phone... setting it up has been a nightmare so far. Good job I put screen and camera protectors on it right away as I might just yeet it at this rate xD

investigating me for breast cancer. Pictures are just flashing up as the pc finds them and BAM jumpscared by my own nipnop and biopsy wound 🤣 Least it wasn’t a peenar or something 😂

So I kinda forgor hidden phone folders are a thing. I’m transferring all my photos off my phone so I can empty iCloud. I forgot during some medical treatment, I took photos of my boob to monitor my symptoms and also the wound and healing when I had a biopsy when they were

I'm really fed up of this sore throat in the morning thanks to my allergies. I dunno whether it's my cat allergy has worsened or if I've become allergic to something else but I'm not having fun xD

Most of us ended up with beer heads (mine is second to last)

Having a taskbar full of little bongo cats with my coworkers fills me with glee. I'm the only one working all the way over in England so it helps me feel connected and that's really nice tbh

What’s the difference between a try and triumph? You need a little umph to triumph!

Hospital: Main Xray department 🔼
Where the Main Xray department actually is ◀️ before the sign that says🔼

Needless to say, a bit late like… no stream. It’s been a busy few days with my mum in hospital. Obviously that’s more important.

Sitting in hospital and there’s a TV on in the department advertising funeral plans. Bit on the nose that…

Poor Mike
I'm not sorry at all :D

The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden. 🇸🇪

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.