brphillips

The quiet terror of somebody suggesting a game of charades

💀

On a related note, woke up at 03:15 mentally drafting an "effective immediately" resignation note to send my boss in the event I win lotto.

How sad and ironic is it that work culture here feels like you can't even take a sick or mental health day because your work and its expectations are so overwhelming?

I use this gif almost daily at work. It's perfect.

Martini o'clock in my time zone.

a man with a mullet and a mustache is wearing a wig and making a funny face . ALT: a man with a mullet and a mustache is wearing a wig and making a funny face .

General vibe several times daily

Dumbest thing I've heard at work all day:

"We need to review those deltas line by line to solution them"

Thanks! He's a great little friend.

Here's Otis to brighten your day

Completely burned out, he was already muttering "oh my god" under his breath and it wasn't even monday morning .

Stay tuned for this and other excerpts from the story of my life.

need this in my life

Anyplace that stops serving breakfast burritos before noon does not deserve to be called a restaurant.

There are many reasons I stopped watching American football and became a soccer (aka REAL football) fan years ago. This is just one of those reasons.

In case you live in another, more reasonable part of the world and happen to see this, here's all you need to know about the state of the U.S. right now

Absolute madness

I love renaissance fairs but I think we should take the realism up a notch and take away everybody’s glasses/contacts and also make sure nobody’s on their meds like okay NOW we have a party

Suddenly feel the need for a donut

Tormented in my life because no one I know was or is a Twin Peaks nerd like me and I can't really make references to the show or its characters other than inside my head.

This fully resonates.

This Labor Day weekend, let's remember the corporate america pawns who made the ultimate sacrifice. May we pay tribute to the loss of your souls. Here's to your self-evaluations, your anxiety, your self doubt, your meeting notes that no one reads. You earned that 2% merit increase, and we see you!

Only slightly less bad than "sando"

Goal:

Tons of fresh basil and cherry tomatoes this year if anyone wants any.

Need a career where no one asks me things and no one tries to mother me.

Whoever is controlling the sim I live in, can you please do me a solid and throw a lotto jackpot my way? Because I'm spent and can't do this any more.

Oh wait! International Cat Day! Greetings from Otis.

Saw this at the grocery and this is why I'm leaving the U.S.