Seth B.

Bpd/ocd jealousy leading to an intrusice thought. And i confession ocd'd to my bf about it. UGGGGGGH. I'm lucky he's so understanding... why does my brain try to ruin this??

Started as a great night but turned into a shit show. Fuck me running.

Really hate being ignored when i reach out and show someone compassion. Wtf.

The slightest gap in communication can bring the dread back. Fuck why am i like this.

I wish loving someone this much didn't have to hurt. It's nobody's fault. It just hurts.

Social battery drain+bpd lows are not an ideal combo. Gdi I want every part of my life better for him, but i should want it for me. Obbsession is romantic until the hard part starts...

Flooding by preparing/imagining all sorts of situations on how it could end is hard.
But if its just as a friend, playmate or partner, I'll love and support him all the same.
God this hurts... but it needs to be about him now.

I wish i could convey my feelings without it looking like a wall of text.
Bf has family crisis. Bpd go brr. Want to support him but also give him the space he needs. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

Fucking BPD. My brain feels like its exploding with joy when he smiles, touches me, or says he loves me...
But when we're apart i'm in a state of dread. Every change in tone of voice. Every not returned mention of "i love you"
Too much complimenting? Too doting?
The terror of that bond breaking...

Id fuckin do it again

Ocd+bpd thoughts are a fucking nightmare.

I love him but my BPD needs to calm the hell down before i ruin a good thing...

Feeling like im holding my breath waiting for a reply. Fucking BPD man...

Buff old man Yama appreciation post.

Trying to write a sci-fi novel but accidentally starts writing a completely unrelated fantasy novel.

Pink Floyd is just Tool for boomers
Motely Crew is just Elvis for boomers

Staying on task for writing is becoming a challenge.

*Decides to write a book*
*realizes he has no idea what he's doing*

Main cast is almost fleshed out for draft one. So far: i am a scatter brained writer.

I HAVE WRITTEN A SCI-FI FUTURE CALENDER FOR THE BOOK. WTF

All my partners are so similar that they call me out on it DAILY.

Well, wrote a full fight scene first draft tonight. Guess we're doing this whole writing thing

The Srike Facade. I like gray customs. 🤷‍♂️

Wing Zero and Epyon. If MGs weren't a time and $$ sink id have kept building this scale. 😭

Strike Freedom: fresh off the runners.

Never thought id be looking up the difference between anti matter reactors and fusion ones but here we are.

Bet