Canaan Breiss

Page from "A Light in the Attic" by Shel Silverstein. At the bottom is a drawing of a kind put a piece of paper into a machine with gears and buttons. Above that is the following poem: The Homework Machine, oh the Homework Machine, Most perfect contraption that’s ever been seen. Just put in your homework, then drop in a dime, Snap on the switch, and in ten seconds time, You homework comes out, quick and clean as can be. Here it is – “nine plus four?” and the answer is “three”. Three? Oh me … I guess it’s not as perfect As I thought it would be.

Very weird that the answer to "which #scifi author predicted 21st century technology best" might be Shel Silverstein...

Deadline 24 March: Research fellow (5 year fixed term), cog neurosci of aging and dementia, MARCS Institute for Brain, Behaviour and Development, Western Sydney jobs.smartrecruiters.com/WesternSydne...

Science Advisor You lick the back of my head, I'll lick the back of yours

Interesting offer from @science.org

Tenure track position in the multimodal language department at the MPI!

Deadline Mar 26: Asst prof (teaching track), comp. soc. sci. + cogsci, UCSD Cog Sci apol-recruit.ucsd.edu/JPF04461

Hat embroidered with “hello, i am fleeing the American century of humillation. Can you show me where to buy Mountain Dew Baja Blast?”

This guy gets it.

Violets are siniy
Forget-me-nots goluboy
Words for dark and light blue
Bring Russian much joy

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Language change stops this
Rhyming with cow

(from @chirila.bsky.social, reposting with permission)

Roses are red
Violets are grue
In Ancient Egyptian,
Pashto, and Zulu

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue%E2...

I feel this way about pretty much all vaccine-preventable infectious diseases. You shouldn't be allowed to dump cyanide into municipal drinking water and you shouldn't be allowed to recreationally spread viruses around shared public spaces.

Put together a python/typescript package called bead for constructing, deploying, and analyzing large-scale linguistic judgment experiments with active learning. Very tailored to the way my lab works, but might be useful to others.

Repo: github.com/FACTSlab/bead
Docs: factslab.io/bead/

Deadline 15 Feb: 2 postdoc positions, neurocognition of bilingualism, UiT Arctic Uni. Norway. Position (1) www.jobbnorge.no/en/available... Position (2) www.jobbnorge.no/en/available...

Deadline Mar 20: Postdoc, fNIRS+bilingual language development w/ M. Kalashnikova, Basque Center on Cognition, Brain, + Language calls.bcbl.eu/index.php?op...

Same!!

GitHub - VisruthSK/stanflow: R Package for a Mildly Opinionated Stan Bayesian Workflow R Package for a Mildly Opinionated Stan Bayesian Workflow - VisruthSK/stanflow

First release of stanflow! v0.1.0 was a few days later than I'd like, but its up now.

Stanflow is a metapackage a la tidyverse for a Stan Bayesian workflow--see the README for more details/features!

Feedback/issues/PRs are always appreciated.

#rstats #bayes

Soon hiring a lab manager! Looking for someone who is really interested in language neuroscience, who is organised, motivated, a great communicator, and who works well in a research team. Express interest by submitting this form: tinyurl.com/glysn-labman...

Reposts appreciated!

Hackathon page screenshot

This July, we are holding a virtual hackathon to explore LEVANTE data!

If you're interested in data analysis, development, and cross-cultural variability, please join us!

First week is open, second week is by application with mentorship on group projects.

levante-hackathon-2026.github.io

I am really angry about all of the scientists who cozied up to Epstein even after it was known who he was.

I am nearly as angry at how many people are justifying this as "they had to, it's how academia works"

NO IT FUCKING WELL ISN'T

Kinda funny that Trump thinks "asylum" means other countries send people from insane asylums, and a) this is real life, not a ham-handed Idiocracy-type satire, b) he has surely been corrected several times but is incapable of updating his priors, & c) most media politely agree not to mention it.

Archaeologists: D.C. Capitol May Have Once Been Used For Legislating WASHINGTON—Calling the discovery the “clearest proof yet” of how the U.S. government was originally designed to function, archaeologists published new evidence Thursday that suggests the Capitol build...

Archaeologists: D.C. Capitol May Have Once Been Used For Legislating

What a world huh Lemon it’s still struggling to be born

Donate to Support for Renee Good’s wife and son, organized by Mattie Weiss Please support the wife and son of Renee Good as they grapple with the devastating … Mattie Weiss needs your support for Support for Renee Good’s wife and son

This is a vetted fundraiser for the family of Renee Good, the woman who was killed by ICE in Minneapolis.

www.gofundme.com/f/support-fo...

“There Are Two Possible Futures for American Science.” The Simons Foundation president talks about science philanthropy, the future of the research enterprise, and remaining hopeful.

A fairly frank interview, as these things go.

(disclosure: I have recently written for Quanta, which is supported by the Simons Foundation)

Deadline 12 January [from email; website says 5 Jan]: Statement of interest for 3 year research position, Center of Linguistics, University of Lisbon. www.clul.ulisboa.pt/en/news/call...

Deadline Jan 15: Postdoc, "Bilingualism, Early Intervention, and Speech & Language Processing" w/ S. Surrain, U Nevada Las Vegas drive.google.com/file/d/1Caza...

the dooms not gonna scroll itself

TechCrunch https://techcrunch.com Microsoft CEO says up to 30% of the company's code was written by Al 29 Apr 2025 - Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella said that 20% to 30% of code inside the company's repositories was "written by software" - meaning... Hacker News https://news.ycombinator.com Microsoft admits almost all major Windows 11 core features are broken 1 day ago - Except it's not totally terrible. What makes it terrible is the privacy invasions and the consent issues Microsoft has with its users, along ...

started / going