Lumen (babbling)

Going through my pics from Florence, I really love how colorful the buildings are. So many in warm yellows and oranges and teracotta tones.
I can share some more pics if ppl are interested. I'm no pro photographer but I really enjoy trying to be creative in compositions.

Some pics from Florence. I really enjoy the angles and light in these.

A picture of a gravestone with two ladies consoling each other. Maybe? No idea. The one on the right looks like she could be a personification for Vienna, the guy whos grave it was was a politician and artist. I am just guessing though.

When I die I also want some hot sapphics on my gravestone.

A picture showing the side of a bus saying "Excelent Trans".

Also, this one. For no particular reasons XD

A picture of an alley in the first district if Vienna, a greek orthodox church on the left.

A picture of some ornate old buildings in the first district of Vienna, a barren tree on the left.

A picture of some trees with the sun coming through the foliage.

A picture of a glass skyscraper with trees reflecting in the glass.

Started doing film photography again and these turned out okay I think. The film had some mistakes but you can't see it as badly in these. I don't know the film terminology, I just bought a cheap analogue compact camera and am enjoying the process XD

That's great advice, thank you!

the downside of the blackwing pencils is that the eraser that is clamped to the back means the last cm of the pencil has this shaved off bit that is too thin for the extender u_u Also I have to sharpen this with a knife bcs this is too short for a pencil sharpener.

I do appreciate it, but I think with this being in my head it doesn't really help. Like, I am not ungrateful, I just know how my brain works when I am in this phase. Hope I don't come off rude, I do really appreciate it <3

Look this nub. Trying to make the most of the expensive pencils I love so much.

Kinda struggling with the fact I should be online and reposting stuff about the bluesky censorship and posting art or whatever but also really hating my art right now.

Sleeping is really hard when you're alone with the horrors of your own mind, ngl.

Kind of going through it today. In a not fun way. Maybe I will go to bed early and try and get up early.
Early I say, it's half past midnight.

I don't have the energy for this Q_Q

So many ppl are arguing with me today and it is grating. It's so exhausting to find words even if they are well meant.

Photo shows a sketchbook sitting open on a wooden desk, surrounded by painting supplies such as paint tubes, brushes, and a palette. The page displays 5 gouache painting studies of different types of mushrooms growing locally in the Netherlands.

Another mushroom studies page in gouache 🌿🍄✨

I feel paralyzed today, everything is getting to me.

Now I wanna draw it, damn

Yeah, either that or the biker one. make it a cropped leather jacket.

Watched a streamer watch some vhs dating tapes and, you know what's coming, you know what I am thinking off XD

I have vivid memories of crushing on this character. So many Sailor Moon fits were so good.
Also, Willow would look so good in this.

This is just me mulling it over, bcs sometimes it helps to write it out. I am not sad that i am alone, it is an active decision I had to defend over the last two years, it's where I want to be, I am much happier alone.

I don't want any pity or anything btw, it's an active decision I made for myself, I don't want to deal with anybody anymore. It's just that societal pressure of having to be in a thing, and ppl that are actively more couple than their own person just add to that feeling in me.

It's like I have to actively untrain myself after I was part of that machinery for decades myself, long term "happy" relationship. I have friends I started to actively avoid bcs they talk about nothing but their partners.

But then I hear others talk about their partners on discord and there is that thougt that was trained into me by decades of media, of how you're a lesser human if you're alone. The old single, the sad lonely person that nobody wants. And it feels weird.

I have been in a pretty good spot, mentally, got some of my stuff back from my ex and it all went well. And I feel like I am pretty okay with the knowledge that I want to spend the rest of my life alone, in a sense of not having a partner. The thought of being in a relationship makes me sick tbh.

Sometimes I have something I wanna say but I don't want to say it to friends but it bubbles up until I say it, like a burp. And I feel better after I said it and I will probably instantly forget I said it as well, like an actual burp.

I forgot I posted this XD

New brainrot level unlocked, figured out what their omegaverse scents would be XD Send help, I feel like I might go insane XD

Yeah, I know, it still feels like I am letting ppl down. Bcs I have complained before how I am lonely bcs I don't have a lot of real life ppl to do things with. But then I struggle just keeping up with the few ppl I know.

I have been really low energy the last few days, to a point that my mom sent me a text message bcs I did not reply to her initial whats app message bcs my social battery is at zero. And I don't even know how, I have not met a friend in weeks. I'm such a failure sometimes.