Max Isaacson

Then please stop counting. It’s getting pretty bad out here.

Beyond the Valley of the Daals

if you want a real easy way to be a chad do not get involved in this on any level. I dont scold people for their tastes but JK Rowling has said repeatedly she puts the revenue generated by Harry Potter right into anti trans political organizations and legislation

ME: it’s not delivery it’s digiorno

HOSPITAL NURSE: um ok let’s get your wife to the digiorno room

One peak is enough. Too many, maybe.

TCC has almost raised $500,000 for trans lifeline!

i donated $40, pitch in whatever you can. every dollar goes to making trans life in the US easier

INTERVIEWER: can i see your resume

ME: *slides paper across desk*

INTERVIEWER: this is just a note that says “do u like me __yes __no”

ME: *averts eyes* well do u

INTERVIEWER: *bites end of pencil* idk maybe

He’s back, but can you even imagine social media without him? It would be tantamount to shutting down the entire enterprise overnight.

Make it a life goal that a documentary about you doesn’t cause numerous reviewers to compare it unfavorably to Leni Riefenstahl’s works.

A documentary where I interview people who back into spots in parking lots and help them get their lives back on track.

Me (the Soultangler): Hey.

it's kinda funny that if, instead of employing these people to deport undocumented immigrants, they'd just executed them all crime would have decreased.

No matter what happens in my career I will never have directed Melania, and that is a victory.

These are dark times, John.

Solid black picture with white text that states "ICE OUT! NATIONWIDE SHUTDOWN! NO WORK. NO SCHOOL. NO SHOPPING. JAN 30, 2026. SIGN ON TO JOIN US: nationalshutdown.org"

📢 AMERICANS!

TODAY!

If you can:

Don’t move, doc.

SHAGGY: what did the vet say you have

SCOOBY DOO: rabies

SHAGGY: zoinks i didn’t even know you could get pregnant

Excuse me while I grind my teeth into dust.

Should I be a senator!? Like is that where we’re at? Would I OF ALL PEOPLE BE BETTER AT THIS FUCKING JOB!?

Ah, yes, we’ll scatter the vowels around so none of the consonants feel like they’re being bullied.

Absolutely sociopathic behavior for someone to put the letters in a specific order and demand we adhere to it.

Could you imagine if this fucknut accidentally repealed the 2nd? The cosmic accidents that would have to make that happen!

It can get lower!

Never delete. Never surrender.