aatrox_null 🦉

Reservoir Dogs is the original Among Us.

We need to take away phones from old people in waiting rooms because they cannot be trusted.

Only children enter on the first shap

amazing that i can show the same picture to my trainer and my barber

You've heard correctly

Post by bitchydragondoodle: Y'know what I LOVE about the Star Trek fandom? It's ANCIENT. I had a talk with a nice old lady at the old persons home that my great grandma is in and she noticed my Spock shirt and was like "oh I love that show I thought the premise was lovely" and you all know THE PREMISE is trekspeak for spirk and I was like "do you accept the premise because I do* and she looked at me with the eyes of someone who is reliving their otp moments and she said "the premise is all I wrote about, dear"' and we just talked about spirk for a hella long time and I just love how age doesn't matter in this fandom you can be ninety and still be the biggest spirk bitch ever how rad is that

I thought the premise was lovely.

Would you rather fight one Mumford-sized son, or one hundred son-sized Mumfords?

Completed scene commission for @gassyfox.bsky.social and @aatrox0.bsky.social !

Happy Valentine's Day to my @blueeyedbabe.bsky.social

I'm not always the best husband, but you're the best wife I could ever have

I don't have an "ascending testicle", I have a wandering nut

this was an older one but I still think its relevant

Hormny

Putting on my swimsuit

I gave it a smooch

It's really more like Chaotic Neutral Will Hunting

One mortician says "the kid's new to the mortician business, but he seems enthusiastic. Hey! how's that make-up coming?" The trainee mortician presents his work and the face he's put on the corpse resembles Trixie Mattel's makeup. He says "voilà it's Trixie Mattel!" The first mortician says "uh... I think the mourners may want something more... subtle." The trainee moritician gets back to work saying "right, right. Gotrcha chief." He presents them with the redone makeup and says "Voilà. It's Katya!" The experienced morticians look annoyed.

Just freaked out a little bit because I brushed the excess dental adhesive out of my front tooth gap and thought I broke my tooth

That, and replies like this one from the lamest people on earth

Oh it was fun for you to do this on Twitter?

Yeah, that's why we all left. People are tired of it.

Sun flag looking like it's giving a boat captain a back rub.

Captain: I'm really nervous about giving this speech.
Sun, rubbing his shoulders: Don't worry, big guy. You got this.

Growing up touch-starved and becoming an emotionally repressed adult has me wanting to cuddle and be cuddled by every one of my friends

I'm reading The Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac (my favorite book) for probably the fifth time

Solitude is a gift

It's the setting where you send them all to me, thanks!

A panel from Watchmen. Doctor Manhattan appears in a kitchen on November 10 as a circulatory system as he is reconstituting himself. Art by Dave Gibbons.

Happy Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to those who celebrate.

Sometimes it's just one of those mornings

Right now, in fact

I accept nothing more than 6/9