For sale: baby shoes, not cuntyenough 💔
03.03.2026 02:22 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0For sale: baby shoes, not cuntyenough 💔
03.03.2026 02:22 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
How does ANYONE date in their 30’s? Guy just left my apartment and blocked my number and all I did was say “wanna see me make a mountain out of a mole hill” n pulled down my cargo shorts to show him these. Srsly frick my life!
28.02.2026 16:40 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
The exact personality types in a group of three seasonal new hires
27.02.2026 18:47 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0On the no fly list because I have a lithium ion social battery 💔
25.02.2026 14:46 — 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Wait if ai cures cancer what will all those aborted doctors do 💔
23.02.2026 20:58 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
21.02.2026 05:30 —
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I’m just not seeing his appeal
20.02.2026 19:33 — 👍 6 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Getting increasingly difficult to breast boobily under these conditions
19.02.2026 15:01 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0😍😍😍😍
19.02.2026 04:31 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Oh so you know about textbook landings
19.02.2026 04:30 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I know for a fact you have taken both a ball and peen to your face, Sully
19.02.2026 04:23 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
We, as gay people, get to have only watched this scene of Dude Where’s My Car
18.02.2026 14:35 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Honeycrisp Apples and Sumo Oranges are locked in and I am so fucking ready for the next A Perfect Fruit to hit the stores.
17.02.2026 14:12 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
The sequel to American Psycho should be
Christian Bale's character realizing he's kinda normal compared to this guy
Love you babe!!!
14.02.2026 18:01 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0just googled “closest sperm bank” and your address came up
14.02.2026 18:00 — 👍 17 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0😌🙏🏻
12.02.2026 22:49 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
“Omfg this guy is SENDING me”
- an envelope
You’re tellin me a side made this dish?
12.02.2026 14:00 — 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
Me in an elevator right before saying “can I say hi?” to a dogs owner
12.02.2026 13:34 — 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0My type? Temporary, it would seem.
11.02.2026 19:06 — 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Spinal Surgery Clinic called “We Are Sew Back”
11.02.2026 16:29 — 👍 4 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0The following hole has been modified from its original version. It has been formatted to fit this peen.
10.02.2026 20:02 — 👍 9 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Ur horny. I’m feeding my 2dimensional computer animal children and you’re horny.
10.02.2026 15:03 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
dude stop kissing the back of my neck? when I said “let’s go back to my place and feed my Grundo and Krawk” it wasn’t code
10.02.2026 14:30 — 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0😭🥹
09.02.2026 13:21 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Girls will be like “hi I’m Katie” and like ok so you have a LinkedIn.
08.02.2026 19:29 — 👍 5 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0I think Chudai would be a beautiful name for a girl
08.02.2026 16:01 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
“Permission to approach the bench?”
- me, to a squirrel at the park
Oh so they’re leaning in
07.02.2026 18:34 — 👍 8 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0