John Danek

just talked to infinighost

new music soon

watching Big 10 football in november fills my soul with a nice warmth

gay test

i love how every app has a settings menu with a "notifications" option

and when you click it, it's like "psych! jk dickhead! we can't do that here! idk, try your phone settings or something, asshole"

Pacifier Guys

i love how map apps are like

would you like to get to your destination in 32 minutes?

or 50 you degenerate sack of shit?

just walked into a business whose sign said "Tacos! Tacos! Tacos!"

guess what they DON'T serve there.

two turkey clubs, coming right up 👊👊

los angeles should look into getting one of those "mayors"

bracing myself for the deluge of articles like:

"Will Democrats Learn From Mamdani's Decisive Victory? No, Fuck No, But Let's Imagine If They Did for 2,000 Words"

photo of a scientist holding up a test tube with green liquid with meme text TOP: Finally BOTTOM: Princess Stereonoke it's a stupid princess mononoke meme

apple watch: you got a sleep score of 98! good job!

bro i was hammered

javier milei looks like all members of The Mars Volta combined

performatively sipping from my empty coffee so the barista doesn't kick me out

what game??

not my home but i know my way around

i would [redacted] myself

telling my kids this is the criterion closet

i agreed with you most of my life... but i have seen the light

i never liked breakfast burritos until like a year ago

what the hell was wrong with me

noooo mute the mics again

i love this stadium ASMR thing they're trying for Penn State vs Iowa

you can just tell pete hegseth was never a fun drunk

APPARENTLY 🙄

i don't miss any of the slurs that used to be commonplace in the 90's/00's... but the one thing i do miss is melodramatically threatening to kill yourself over the smallest thing. "uggh they're out of ranch, i'm gonna fucking kill myself" was always fun imo. i mean, i get it.

Mitch McConnell smiling and waving after he absolutely ate shit while a journalist asked him about ICE

mfw i look back at my friends as the bouncers drag my ass out of the bar

Mitch McConnell smiling and waving after he absolutely ate shit while a journalist asked him about ICE

mfw i look back at my friends as the bouncers drag my ass out of the bar

i have fond memories of playing Fight Night and halo 2 and Mega Man Collection and COD2 on friends' systems but i cannot imagine a worse fate for a console. just add the fucking JIRA app already

i've never owned an xbox and at this rate, i never will