Anne Corlett

I have an entry in my teaching syllabus for next semester about ‘The art of the info dump.’ My first drafts always have my characters telling each other - or me - exactly what’s going on in a lengthy bit of dialogue which then gets taken out and scattered through the book as dialogue or exposition.

Sorry - my ‘I know the score’ was aimed at their response, not your suggestion! A complaint is tempting but I think it would test my blood pressure!

It was an online report and the reply came from PC Desk Based Investigation Unit. I didn’t expect them to follow up but I am irritated by the twisting of my report to make it sound utterly unreasonable for them to do so. I was a criminal defence lawyer for 16 years - I know the score!

Just say ‘we don’t have the resources so won’t bother’ rather than deploying straw man diversion tactics!

It’s the fact they chided me for suggesting they reviewed 3 hours of footage to see who came and went when the card where taken. I did nothing of the sort. I suggested they looked at the 1 min of footage when it was used to see which of the dozen or so people who could have taken it did so!

Reported theft of son’s bank cards to police. We know where they were taken, when they were used, there is CCTV in the shop and a foolproof way of IDing anyone on that CCTV. Email response more annoying than theft with its tone of surprise that I would think it reasonable for them to investigate.

One of these years one of my southern household members will just get on with it, get outside and first foot without whinging. But it is not this year. #northerntraditions

How are you supposed to deliver stockings to teenagers while maintaining any semblance of Christmasy spirit? Just encountered Boy 1 in the hallway while clutching his stocking.
Me: ‘Um, ho ho…ho?’
Him: ‘Er, shall I just take that?’
Then Boy 2 emerged for a wee and to criticise my lack of stealth.

Village Christmas. 6pm Hark the Herald Angels sing. 11pm I’m twisted firestarter. It was a night or two halves.

Just stole someone’s trolley in Costco. Failed to notice for several aisles. Shrieked, failed to find the owner, retrieved mine, then had to go back for the stuff I’d put in it after waltzing off with it. Thus looking as though I was stealing someone else’s AS batteries and granola.

Just had to ask someone to stop influencing by the hand dryers in the Bath station toilets so I could actually dry my hands. There have to be better places to pose with one hand behind your head and the other on your hip while your friend stage directs from behind the phone camera.

Wow. You really can buy anything on Amazon.

I still mourn the loss of the Committee for Guildable Manors. I sneaked it into the acknowledgements.

My last book had short sections between some of the chapters, mostly to do with the history of the setting, but with some hints about the actual story. We needed to lose 20k words and the most hotly-defended territory was in those sections.

I’m not adverse to a well-crafted footnote, mind, if the narrative structure allows. Always interesting from a perspective point of view!

Most of my students are writing in the speculative area, so we spend a lot of time on worldbuilding. So much is about justifying what the viewpoint character notices/thinks, without the constant ‘as you know, Bob, in this world…’ It’s the abnormal the character will naturally notice, not the norm.

I love this. I bang on endlessly to my students about perspective, and the difference between the character viewpoint and narrator structuring. Explanation and comment breaks immersion. A strong setting just…is. The Hookland pieces are such a good example. Is the quote from a longer work/article?

Just finished watching Firefly and Serenity with Boys 1 and 2. The desperate hope in Boy 1’s voice when he said ‘Is there…like, a post credits scene? Or something?’ It was like watching small children realise there’s no Santa. #firefly #scifi

Today I finally found my meat handling limit as a vegetarian in a meat-eating family. The words ‘reach inside the chicken’ seemed entirely innocuous until the moment of the reaching arrived. Reader, I found another recipe.

Boy 1’s English lit paper flagged for remark - 2 marks off higher grade. One problem - his teacher will find out he abandoned Frankenstein and answered the Christmas Carol questions based solely on multiple viewings of the Muppet version. And did substantially better than expected. Just…how?

Relief here after GCSE results. Boy 1 decided not to do any work before mocks, thinking natural ability would get him through. Cue a frantic scramble before the real things. It could have gone either way. Solid set of results - a couple of disappointments but a couple of pleasant surprises too.

I had to find the manual release for ours this morning. I’d put some damp running kit in for a short dry, and the machine went on like I’d insulted its entire lineage and spat in its drawer, then sulked and refused to do anything but flash a pointed lock symbol at me. Arse of a machine.

I loved that book. I’ve still got it on my shelves. I did look at it while sorting out books recently and think I’d never seen anything else from her.

My sister in law, on the other hand, is now deeply confused about my wasps. Considering sending partner’s rowing updates to his mum, just so everyone is entirely up to speed.

I am now fully updated about what I am up to.

I seem to be everyone’s ‘oops, not for you’ this morning. I have had an apology for cancelling tonight’s session at short notice (partner, and he was talking about rowing!) and my mother in law informing me that she’s just spoken to me and will be seeing me later and that we’ve had wasps nests.

It’s meeeee!

On a bus which has a fault that is making it give a ‘Please apply handbrake’ alert every 5 seconds while the bus is moving. I am fully expecting the driver to hurl himself from his window any second. Then ‘please apply handbrake’ will become a pressing matter for all of us on board.

I am a vegetarian, but if it would make chirpy mcchirpface outside my window shut up, I would gladly eat him, feathers and all. Yes, rhw sun is rising. It happens every day. Calm down.

Me: OMG how much weight have I put on since I last wore this dress? I can't even get it on. What am I going to wear tomorrow? Aaaaaargh!
Less stupid me: You know you haven't undone the zip, right?