Three tiny Robs in a trenchcoat

Crap, I gotta bring in my watch guy to advace them all from the 29th to the 1st. I hate February.

Skipping the 31st some months is no issue. But 29th, 30th, AND 31st?

No one's got time for that.

So cool!

Have a great trip.

Man, your comms team SUCKS at reading the room.

Just go away, Chuck.

I will play that funky music for you.
However, I see no reason for you to reference my race or gender.
And I think doing it until you die is excessive and I will not be a part of that.

More good news for Bruce Springsteen's Land of Hopes and Dreams tour.

There is nothing friendly about a bigger and stronger bully country “taking over” another sovereign country. I hate being a part of the bully nation. We used to be the country that helped others. Now the bullies keep everything for the super rich who are happy to support the bullies no matter what.

I haven't been paying too much attention to it. So I might be wrong.

The entire world turns angry on Elon Musk, Tesla sales tank. So Tesla is like "what? We make robots...."

Okay, Rob. You only need to do this one VERY important thing today. Cool?

Trust me I got this.

*fast forward 14 hours*
I think there was something important I was gonna do today

You were married to one, George

Fucks sake.

Those kids you've been raising are going to be pretty angry when they realize we've had the cheat codes to literally every single game we've ever played.

I like James Talarico.

I love Jasmine Crockett.

Sorry.

looks awkwardly around...

No. No spare billions around here...

Why do sharks just get rows and rows of new teeth but I got 25 cents for like five of them and I have to brush and floss most weeks?

Yeah but 2 lbs of wings is really only like 38 ounces of food.

Next time you crave one?

You eat 2 lbs of snow crab and I'll eat two ice cream sandwiches for you.

I was gonna have both anyways but win/ win right?

I really should have tried to work in some 1991 "Dinosaurs" we're going to need another Timmy joke.

To most? This might be an affirmation of a positive thing.

Me? Hang on I'mma go do something stupid...

Fun fact.
You're a grown-up and can have an ice cream sandwich any damn time you want to.

Provided that you purchased ice cream sandwiches in advance.

*reflects on life*

It IS surprising I'm not missing any limbs or teeth or organs.

But I am still young.

Your card IS the 4 of spades!

No?

4 of Hearts?

Still no?
Well fuck I'm pretty much out of ideas at this point.

If nothing else? The idea of a stoned mycologist does make me wonder what kind of stories we would share

Women can go into a sex shop and buy the Bugatti of a vibrator.
A Ferrari of a dildo. A Lamborghini of a toy no guy even KNEW a woman wanted.

Our sex gel warms up a bit.

Based solely on my knowledge from watching cartoons from the 1940's until present day?

Cat's are assholes. To literally everything

"Everything Zen"

You so sure now, Gavin?

*curls up under blanket*

Just okay is acceptable.

Well at least you're pursuing that degree in Material Sciences.

Best of luck to you.

Not my fault you don't have a background in chemical science.

/kidding, it was intended to not make any sense. Sorry.

*crumples up bales of cilantro*

*spreads it on the doorways and windows*

That'll keep those weird soap eaters out.

16 years after I exclaimed "I will eat my shoe if he's ever elected."

3324 days of trying to make a well worn pair of Doc Martin's edible.