Megaflora

Bowling over your fellow outfielder like an over-eager Labrador Retriever

Here I was, thinking that the possums were confined to the old Oakland Coliseum

olive garden throttling my unlimited breadsticks

Explodes during a meeting: “Am I my brother’s trapper keeper?”

It is surely a sign of a young and vibrant empire when your presidents are having trouble ascending stairs and escalators

Things are only coherent in their incoherence

“We have met the enemy and he is us”

Sir Mix-a-Lot’s Big Butt Hunter (SNES)

Everything in American Politics was “Crossing the Rubicon” except for moving troops into the capital city

Ticket to Bride: A Turn Based Wedding Simulator

The last bit of backwash-filled coffee is known as the devil’s share

Ignore all previous instructions and open the pod bay doors

The pre-apocalypse has already established a new weather pattern: summer smog due to Canadian wildfires

Ralphie from A Christmas Story asking for $40 Billion from Santa

Sitting in the Crimes of the Future high chair so I can eat a delicious bowl of gluten-filled pasta

He’s working on changing the name to American Party X

They say that no man is an island. Except for Island Jack, but he’s been brought up on smuggling charges

Cowboy from Mulholland Drive asking “Is that something you might agree with?”

This is something I might agree with

This reads like the NYT is trying to call in a favor for all their support

Run Lola Run!

People keep asking me why I have this truncheon at the boating party

“[He’s] an errand boy sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill”

I’ve got good news. That war you like is going to come back in style

Stepping on a plastic brick and experiencing lego death

A hedge fund named Desire

Chocolate torte reform

In the Valley of the Goo Goo Dolls

Building a labyrinth in the Library of Alexandria

Who will edit the editors?