Topher Graves

Not my neurodivergent ass thinking the lyrics

𝑂𝑢𝑟 ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒, 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑑𝑑𝑙𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑡

meant the house was 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 constructed in the middle of the road. Cars had to drive around it because it was in the way.

Why is this not a major concern for the Department of Transportation?

I have decided to permanently retire the phrase "Worst. Apocalypse. Ever." because all the apocalypses are now crowding around asking me to hold their beers and honestly I only have so many hands, fellas.

Maybe the Strangest Things were the friends we made along the way...

Not sure if this was the point of the famous Dr. Suess story, but with today’s housing market, the Grinch’s cave is looking preeeeeetty sweet right about now.

𝐀 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐮, 𝐛𝐲 𝐓𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫

Lighting the Yule tree,
Get that wire out of your mouth!
Why do we have cats?

Barely into November and I’ve already lost Mariahgeddon.

Dang it, random popup ad, this was going to be my year.

I really don't get how each year for our entire lives, we can say, "I can't believe it's only 1 p.m.!" when the clocks roll back when 2 p.m. wasn't really that much later. Yet it still feels like HOURS.

Come on, circadian rhythm, we literally do this every single year get a grip on yourself.

Maybe the real rapture is the friends we made along the way ❤️

Just had a conversation at Mom’s nursing home where the word “hospice” was discussed and I am not okay.

Happy “Testing Your Halloween Decorations To See If Their Batteries Still Work Because You Forgot To Take Them Out Last Year” Day to those who celebrate!

So, if someone can have a “dry wit,” it is also therefore possible to have a “wet wit.”

I will not be taking questions at this time.

Don’t be afraid to share your writing. There are six Sharknado movies.

‪Seán Ferrick is one of the kindest, most inclusive souls out there. (We haven't met, but any amount of time watching videos or listening to podcasts will tell you all you need to know), so to hear this breaks my heart.

To summarize: Fuck genocide, free the hostages, and free Palestine.

Just because it wasnt your experience doesnt mean it isn't real.

A cat climbs the pants leg of its human. The floor also happens to be lava.

A cat climbs the pants leg of its human. The floor is perfectly fine.

New take on "The Floor is Lava." (Or, "Why I Can't Own Hole-less Pants.")

Today is a good day to scream into the Void. An emotional support being of infinite horrors will be with you shortly.

Your scream is very important to usssssssss.

Today is a good day to scream into the Void. An emotional support being of infinite horrors will be with you shortly.

Your scream is very important to usssssssss.

Long shot of a bar, empty save for a single patron enjoying coffee, who happens to be Bigfoot. The title of the episode, "Highly Intuitive," hangs overhead.

A QR code, which links to linktr.ee/TopHatJackStudios

Psst! Hey, you there! Don't look now, but a brand-new chapter of Monster World is slithering around your podcast feed as we speak!

This one is by far the most personal and challenging story we've told so far.

(*Listener discretion is advised. Check show notes for content warnings.

When a network lays off one of America’s greatest satirists, it’s not because he failed. It’s because he succeeded too loudly.

Okay. Things are bad. Let's start by breathing.

Slowly inhale...

Hold...

Now...release...

(If anyone knows what comes next, please let me know. I'm still working on getting past the breathing.)

These reviews are among the few things in the world today that still give me hope in the goodness of the world!

Thank you @seanferrick.bsky.social and also the entire @trekculture.bsky.social team!

A screenshot of the television show The Office, which depicts a banner which reads: TODAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY.

An accurate representation of my current enthusiasm level that today is my birthday. (Might need to tone down the ribbon a bit.)

Spending a somber day at home with the cats, feeling like I'm preparing for a funeral.

A cat stands in the middle of a diorama of a witch cottage in a magical forest. The cat looks huge and slightly annoyed.

A cat stands in the middle of a diorama of a witch cottage in a magical forest. The cat looks huge and slightly annoyed.

A cat stands in the middle of a diorama of a witch cottage in a magical forest. The cat looks huge and slightly annoyed.

A giant, furry Kaiju has reportedly been spotted in Witch Valley. More details as this story develops.

Throwback to the time when clowns just started appearing out of nowhere.

“Sure, uncle Toph. Time to take your meds!”

Me, as I’m hauled away: “Do do doobeedoobee do do be doooo…”

We didn’t listen. The clowns, man. They knew.

I feel you. I'm considering a full online break for a few weeks or so to clear my head.

Honestly, I hate the stress of having a car. I need it because Ubers are expensive and there are no public transit options here, but ugh.

Oh, we're looking. Unfortunately, it's apparently one of those where the whole front end has to come out to get it installed?

Poverty sucks.